90% Brain Dead 10% Artistically Annotated Blog of X

2010-03-30T05:00:00.002+08:00

Connecting the dots

I really apologize for not updating my blog for quite some time as probably I have been really caught of not having any free internet connections. As of now I am stealing some times here in the office trying to scratch the keyboards for a write up worth writing as a mere introduction from years of not writing in this blog. I believe so many things had happened and apart of those were realizations. Probably I cannot be able to say it to anyone one by one as such I failed to react in many things that come in my life. Dramatic.

First, I cannot really imagine that writing a short letter to your mom is difficult. From those little itches of a bond paper I found in my boarding house I started to cry. Memories are difficult in to bring back. How I love my mom so much. And I hope I can share the letter here if I have the chance to have a copy.

Yes. Falling in love. Such a very broad word and difficult to explain. All the while I thought that love will make me happy, well at times it is but if you are inside it when you knew everything will not fit to what you expect to be; there will always be pain. It’s like a wound inside your heart that you cannot heal; even doctors can’t. Even crying won’t do the trick. I realized that falling in love is the most painful event in my life. Covering entirely the happiness I suppose. And I had experienced that over and over again. Repeatedly. Never ending. I can say that my heart is cracking. And it is still happening until now. I somehow imagine my heart to have a lot of cabinets I call “the pain cabinet”. Each drawer is so noisy. When you open it, it cracks. It is very painful. It is beating but blood is all over.

Finding a job. I can say in my case, it is very difficult of looking one. From the waiting time that took for almost 3 hours. Rejections. It is always rejections. I had one that I passed but offered me the lowest basic salary. Only the dumbest creature will accept it. Maybe the fault is me. Maybe I am not really good. Maybe I am weak or it is just I am not lucky. No matter. I am still happy that I have a job. Luckier than anyone who has no home

Well Il write again some more posts soon. Its getting late.

I am hungry.

2007-05-20T12:30:00.000+08:00

Villain

I watched one soap opera once in television.

I never watched this type of moving picture really and it is rare for me to watch and cry with the characters inside the said box but what really put my eye for 22 years for the world of television was when I was into a great contact to a famous villain of the recently concluded soap entitled Bakekang. (These were the nights that I used to dine in Goodah before I go to work were they have this flat television near the counter) The name of the villain is Valeria played by Sheryl Cruz. I cannot question the intensity of her acting although I usually conclude at the back of my mind that it is exaggerated. Well, whatever it may be, I find her interesting to watch. Her shouts of rage and/or demonic anger will somehow will bring the viewer (and that’s me; I don’t know with some others) into full instant epileptic seizures. I am greatly amazed at how her eyes connect with that poor ugly crooked nosed ambitious slump woman named Bakekang. Imagine how you could be treated with great suffering amidst your past ambitious ways of trying to climb the ladder of richness. Oh yes, Valeria is “ambisyosa” and wicked. The thing that really worsens the situation is Bakekang herself because as a “paawa” type of protagonist in the novel flick, she is in fact like Valeria. Bakekang is also ambitious and wicked. Therefore, the clash is there. You know, a Bakekang heroine who doesn’t want to be maltreated; fights back at Valeria using her own beating way which usually made me laugh at the whole story of shouting, slapping, beating, and crying at the end.

MANSIYON:ARAW:SA SALA

(Ipopokos ng kamera ang façade ng mansiyon. Pagkatapos ay lilipat sa sa sala kung saan patakbong papasok si Bakekang upang kausapin si Valeria na kasalukuyang nakaupo sa sofa. Tatayo si Valeria. )

BAKEKANG: “Nasaan si Kristal? ILABAS MO ANG ANAK KO!”

VALERIA: “At bakit? Kailan mo siya naging anak?” (Hihipan ng sigarilyo ni Valeria ang mukha ni Bakekang. Iiwan niya ang kanyang sigarilyo sa ash tray at haharapin ang kausap.)

BAKEKANG: “Huwag mong bilugin ang utak ko Valeria. Alam ko na tinatago mo siya! Alam ko na ang lahat. Siya ang tunay kong - - -“

VALERIA: “---ang tunay mong ano BAKEKANG.”

(Ilalabas ni Valeria ang baril sa may lamesa.)

BAKEKANG: (oink)

VALERIA: “ANG TUNAY MONG ANO BAKEKANG? Sa oras na malaman ni Kristal ang lahat – sa oras na sabihin mo sa kanya ang katotohanan. Sisiguraduhin kong mabubutasan ang tagiliran niya at kailanman ay hindi mo na siya madadatnan ng buhay!”

BAKEKANG: “NAPAKAWALANG HIYA MO!”

(lalapit sana si Bakekang at sasabunutin si Valeria subalit matitigilan siya dahil papasok si Kristal.)

KRISTAL: “Ano ibig sabihin nito?”

VALERIA: “Wala anak. Ah..

(Itatago ni Valeria ang baril. Aakbayan niya si Kristal at haharap sila kay Bakekang.)

VALERIA: …meron lamang kaming hindi pagkakaindihan ni Bakekang.

BAKEKANG: “Kristal! May sasabihin ako - - -“

(Itututok ni Valeria ang baril sa likod ni Kristal. Hindi ito makikita ni Kristal. Kakausapin ni Kristal si Bakekang.)

KRISTAL: “Ano po iyon?”

BAKEKANG: “Wala. Wala.” (tutulo ang luha)

(Ngingiti si Valeria. Ipopokus ang kamera sa kanya.)

VALERIA: (Sa kanyang isipan) “At kulang pa iyon… Ngayon at nahuli ko na siya sa leeg, ayoko siyang patayin agad-agad. Sisikapin kong mararamdaman niya ang hapdi na kanyang idinulot sa akin sa mundong ito. Pipitas pitasin ko ang kanyang laman. Gagawin ko iyon ng paunti unti. Hanggang siyang sumigaw sa hapdi. Isang paghihinagpis na matagal ko nang nais marinig sa kanyang mga labi. Luluhod siya sa aking paanan. Gagapang sa putikan. Magmamakaawa. AT SINO SIYA PARA AKO’Y MAAWA? Isa lamang siyang hayop. Isang dakilang hayop na kailanman walang karapatang kaawaan ng iba. Isa lamang siyang BAKEKANG! ISANG HAYOP NA BAKEKANG!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (mag-eecho ang tawa niya habang may kaunting luha sa kanyang kanang mata kung saan nakapokos ang kamera) #

NOTE: Pasintabi po sa totoong manunulat ng bakekang. Gawa gawa ko lang po ang nasa taas. Hehe

2007-04-30T07:42:00.000+08:00

Wicked

I need to tell this.

It is really boggling in my mind as of the moment if rather I’ve been thoroughly is having a good sense in all of my blog entries. For the most part of my heavy brain I can say that I am making sense, but the other few parts say that I am otherwise. I would define sensibility as the ability of the writer to add new and useful information may it be out of work or anything under the sun’s rays not necessarily has the purpose of making people to be amazed. And then, it happened that it was my grandest thought that I am always in the passion of writing NOT to impress people but rather to open up their minds about anything. But still, as of now, I do not know still if I am successfully meeting that passion. It is because, I seem to feel that I am too dumb with all the chunks of information that I am sharing within my curly head. I can say for now that I am too far with the knowledge about current events. I can also say that I am really ignorant about the political situations of our country, the latest controversies in PDI’s editorials, latest trends in electronics, and some others that I cannot name because primarily I do not have any knowledge of them at all to exist.

My friend called me once last Wednesday just before I took my rest from my usual tiring “back office” job. It was his first time to call me after so many years during college. He was by the way my good old friend from a University in Iloilo who is also a good writer; a mass communications major so therefore I can say that he is indeed a good conversationalist (but not like those pa-coño types). He is now somewhere in the Visayas working in a call center. Again -- in a “CALL CENNNER”. I was not shocked about him telling me about the current events happening in the country. Being an editor-in-chief in his school before, I am thoroughly expecting that he’ll know loads of stuff until now especially about the budget cuts and all those jazz that will surely make you hate the country and live abroad. But I am okay, I tell you. I don’t listen much to his words to believe him entirely anyway. And so, we chatted and learn new stuffs. (Zzzzzzzzzzzz) Ok, Let me revise the former sentence. And so, he chatted and I learned new stuffs. And he was going mad for I did not know anything with everything that he said to me. That’s why he called me too ignorant and inexcusable to the Philippine Jurisprudence. I said I really need to rest. And then I heard him laughing all over. I told him I don’t have time to check the news in the paper or even scan the web; much more with his shock when I told him that we are not allowed to surf the web in the internet at work.

“I never imagined a global company making their labor force work like. . . uhm carabaos!”

“Nice choice of animal huh? It sounds nationalistic though but I hate it when you join it in with our conversation”

“I know. I am just shocked. I know that you have loads of callers in a way but generally speaking, making employees be deprived of the world wide web of information is so cruel! WICKED!”

“WE-ARE-NOT-A-CALL-CENTER.”

“What? So what’s your work then? I am thinking all over that ***tooot**** is call center as I am seeing it everyday in the papers looking for agents. . . Are you sure?”

“Are you pushing me to the fact that you are reading the papers daily?”

“I am not. Are you sure that ***tooot**** is not a call center?”

“We are not a call center but I am not saying that the whole ***tooot**** is not a call center”

“So meaning to say. There are branches within it.”

“The hell it goes. I have no time discussing things like this over the phone. I didn’t find it to be important enough to discuss.”

“Are you mad?”

“No I’m not. I am just tired. And you made me feel bad when you say ‘we are working like carabaos’ at work”

“It’s true isn’t it?”

“No it is not.”

“Okay. If you say so. I am just shocked when I knew that all agents at ***tooot**** are not allowed to surf the net.”

“I didn’t say that ‘All” agents at ***tooot**** are not allowed to surf the net!”

“You did!”

“I said, we are not allowed to surf the net, not the whole ***tooot****!”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

“How come?”

“Can I sleep now?”

“Ok. Sweet dreams. I hope you’re ok.”

“I am okay.”

“No, you’re not. You sound pissed off and ...”

“..are you going to say I am going to be like an i-rate caller?”

“Just as I suspected. You’re job is in a call center!”

“I told you we are not a call center!”

“Don’t lie to me okay. The way you speak proves it well. Ok bye then . . .”

“But . . .”

WICKED#.

2007-04-01T11:22:00.000+08:00

Getting Personal

I have come across to hear a lot flowering words from people here and there. Some are quite amusing; too much sugarcoating just to catch attention and gain more friends. And most of the time, they tend to go overboard in personifying themselves. Goodlooking, gymbuff, sporty, and the list just go on. Too good to be true is what I say. Yeah, the physique really counts but then again, does it?

So I’ve decided to make this part of my blog to know me well. I don’t know if it matter knowing me like a real X shot nude for the public to see; or rather for the whole world to see. Naturally, I don’t like being personal. I remembered my gone out high school days having to write down personal things in their autograph books but reading them again, I felt like it is just putting labels to people. I will also say that some of the inputs are hanging; impermanent. Some will lie as this will be really expected for the purpose of naturally making them acceptable by the majority. That’s why I myself inputted stuffs in that “book” that would generally fit everyone’s reading (as you know autograph books are really meant to be read by the majority) and put N/A for other blank statements that is too personal based on my own weighing scale.

I would say that I could greatly express who am I not by that autograph book but by rather in my essays. I’ve so many of them before and it keeps on updating every now and then especially at times that I keep on exposing myself to sorts of people.

So right now, I am writing another one essay with that same genre putting it in this part of my blog. It would be in a different way. Just to change the tide. That’s what I do most of the time. Go against the flow. So I’ll start of with the ‘negatives’ then you decide.

To make it lesser corny and for the purpose of making you all laugh out loud, I will write it in English, Filipino, and afterwards in Spanish.

And I am not kidding . . .

The English Professional Version

Who am I?

I’m not handsome. I tend to let people decide. It’s all subjective anyway. But then I would say there are times that I feel I’m cute. I’m not gymbuilt either. My pics may reveal otherwise but I’m just of a lean body type. With a little flab in the belly. Never had abs! I’m white in person. Most people I’ve met asked if I have foreign blood. They say I’m tisoy (fair-skinned). No, I’m not. I’m 100% pinoy. You might be surprised to see my relatives. They’re all dusky. But it’s all right. Maybe it’s because our former driver was fair-skinned. Well, I’m happy with my color. As a classmate of mine back in high school would say, I’m the tisoy type who’s so well behaved. Thanks a lot (while I proceed to kill my classmate). Taurus is my sign, which explains why my patience level is so high. I don’t know now why I killed my classmate. My close friends amaze me. They lasted through my moods, sometimes chirpy, then all of a sudden withdrawn and holding a grudge for whatever reason. Mental, ain’t it? That’s me really. Very sensitive this is why I sense it when there’s a problem. Even those about to get angry at me, I can tell.

Juan Tamad’s my brother. If not for my roommates our room will probably be a pigsty. You won’t see me cleaning up. Just giving moral support all the time. Demanding here and there, complaining it’s dirty here, it’s dirty there. I don’t know how to do the dishes either, so if I know my roommates won’t be around, I’ll simply buy take out “with styro” packaging required. It’s because I care for water conservation. Water’s a waste to be used for washing plates. Now you might think I’m absolutely lazy, hehe. I still get to take a bath everyday and brush my teeth. But no cleaning the bathroom for me. I’ll never do that. It’s my cousin’s major subject actually so I assigned that to him. By the way, I’m the boss of my room, because I own almost every fixture and appliance in it. In other words, they’re just sharing with me. So they ought to make themselves useful. Hahahaha!They say I’m aloof at first glance. Nope. That’s just my normal mode. I shy really when I haven’t known you yet. Mysterious! Money burner! When worrying, I run to the mall. Must spend. Shopping therapy. It’s my New Year’s resolution. Must save!

I’m spoiled. Yup, I’m spoiled. ‘cause I’m the youngest. I’m used to getting what I want. I’ll even make a cousin tag along for a forced stroll at the mall until it closes for the day. But still, no can do. Everyone going with me to the mall are a little sansui (one psst! and they go home) so now I prefer strolling by myself. When would I meet a dominant personality who isn’t sansui? Haha!

Now that you’ve known the ‘not so good side’ of me, it’s your call if you’ll continue to read on or just close this fuckin’ a**hole’s window.

I’m an art geek. If you like art stuffs like paintings, poems, films, and “me” we’ll get along well. Palanca addict. Every week almost, I’m in their office to read and read. Coffee freak. Regular of Starbucks in Glorietta. But I haven’t got their planner. They say it’s great but it feels like I’m just weird, why wouldn’t I feel like having some stubs stamped --- uhmm --- around 21 to have one. Most likely the product of indolence. Juan Tamad must be flowing in my veins now. But isn’t it atrocious to be lazy? So this year, I want to change. You know, I made my own New Year's resolution regarding my laziness.

Number one: I’ll clean my room if ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

Number two: I’ll be washing. Just one plate, ok? And not MANY PLATES.

Number three: I’ll clean the bathroom IF --- oops. I’m keeping my New Year’s resolutions to two. That’s a period.

I don’t smoke. Wait, let’s change that, I do smoke. But I’m not an addict. I smoke only when I feel like acting upscale. My body junks cigarettes, but I wonder why my mind wants it. I seldom drink. Two bottles of beer and that’s it for me. I seldom go to bars. I would prefer a place where we could talk with sense. I hate people who are always nodding yes at me. I prefer those who contradict me all the time. I want someone to talk with, not fans. I’m good at reading auras. I do wonder why I see these colors when I look about. At first I thought it was a reflection of the light or my eyes were simply damaged but no, I was seeing other people’s emotions. I’m good at reading and getting the nature of someone in one glance. I stay away from people with yellow auras. Because I perceive them to be evil, or about to hack me with a knife. I feel close to people with green auras. This is why almost everyone I get along with has that color. When it comes to friendship, you can’t put down a bad word on me. I’ll easily be your companion to shoot the breeze. Just being friendly friends, nothing horny. That’s another thing already hehe. As for relationships, I’m the densest person you’ll know. Damn, it’s your problem if you hate me or want me but I’m going home. Well of course you have to show you’re worthy to hold my attention. ‘cause when I’m in a relationship, I’ll give all I can afford to give. Just leave out money, there’ll be trouble if we get involved in that. I like better those more mature than me but I’m not looking for a granny. Just people more mature than me. Not again someone who’s a student. It’s complicated! Right now I’m happy with my status. Of course it’ll be great to have a hug-mate. Hopeless romantic!

The Filipino (Medyo) Professional Version

Sino Ako?

Hindi ako gwapo. I tend to let people decide. Subjective naman yan eh. But then I would say there are times that I feel na cute ako. Hindi rin ako gymbuilt. My pics may reveal otherwise but I’m just of a lean body type. Medyo nagka-tyan na nga. Kahit kailan hindi nagka-abs yan! I’m white in person. Most people I’ve met asked if I have a foreign blood. Tisoy daw kasi ako. Hindi po. Pinoy na pinoy ako. Baka magulat ka pag nakita mo mga relatives ko, mga maiitim. Pero ayos lang. Dahil siguro maputi ang dati naming drayber. Well, masaya talaga ako sa kulay ko. Sabi nga ng classmate ko nung highschool, ako yung tisoyin na “napakabait”. Salamat po (sabay patay sa kaklase) Taurus ako kaya napakataas ng aking patience level. Ewan ko ba bakit ko siya napatay. Bilib nga ako sa mga barkada ko. Natagalan ‘yung ugali ko na minsan masaya tapos bigla na lang tatahimik at magtatampo sa ‘di alam kung ano ang dahilan. Pang mental ba? Ganun lang talaga ako. Very sensitive kaya ramdam ko 'pag may problema na. Kahit ‘yung magagalit pa lang sa akin alam ko na.
Kapatid ko si Juan Tamad. Kung hindi lang sa mga roommate ko marahil naging parang tangkal na ang kwarto namin. Hindi mo ako makikita na naglilinis. Laging moral support lang palagi. Utos dito, utos doon, reklamo na madumi dito, reklamo na madumi roon. Hindi rin ako marunong maghugas ng mga plato kaya kung alam kong wala ang mga room mate ko, bibili na lang ako sa labas "with styro" packaging dapat. Nag-kecare kasi ako sa conservation ng water. Sayang ang tubig kapag pinanghuhugas lang ng pinggan. Hala baka akalain niyo na sobra sobra na ang katamaran ko. Kahit papano, naliligo pa rin ako araw araw at nagsisipilyo ng ngipin. Pwera lang maglinis ng banyo. Hinding hindi ko talaga gagawin 'yun. Major subject na ng pinsan ko 'yun actually kaya sa kanya ko na 'yun inaasign. Ako pala ang boss sa kwarto ko. Ako kasi halos lahat ang may-ari ng mga kagamitan. In other words, nakikigamit lang sila sa akin. Kaya dapat lang na pagsilbihan nila ako. Hahahaha!

Suplado daw ako sa unang tingin. Hindi po. Normal na sakin yun. Tahimik lang talaga ako pag hindi pa kita kilala. Misteryoso! Magastos! Kapag may problema, mall ang takbuhan ko. Kelangang gumastos. Shopping therapy. Ito ang New Year’s resolution ko. Magtipid!

Spoiled ako. Opo, spoiled ako. Bunso kasi. Sanay akong nakukuha mga gusto ko. Kahit humatak ng pinsan at piliting mamasyal hanggang magsara ang mall gagawin ko. Pero hindi pa rin. Lahat kasi ng mga lagi kong nakakasama sa mall medyo sansui (sang sitsit uwi) kaya prefer ko ngayon na mag-isa mamasyal. Kelan ba ko makakatagpo ng dominant personality na hindi sansui?! HaHa!
Now that you’ve known the ‘not so good side’ of me, it’s your call if you’ll continue to read on or just close this fuckin’ a**hole’s window.

Medyo art geek ako. Kung mahilig ka sa mga art stuffs like paintings, poems, films, and “me”magkakasundo tayo. Palanca addict. Halos every week nasa office nila to read and read. Coffee freak. Tambay ng Starbucks sa Glorietta. But I don’t got their planner. Maganda raw pero ewan weird lang talaga ako bakit di ko feel na magpatatak ng stubs ---uhmm mga 21 ata to have one. Produkto siguro ng katamaran. Si Juan Tamad na ata ang dumadaloy sa mga dugo ko. Pero parang napakapangit maging tamad ano? Kaya ngayong taon, gusto ko na magbago. You know, I made my own new year's resolution patungkol sa katamaran ko.

Number one: Maglilinis na ako ng kwarto KUNG kinakailangan.

Number two: Maghuhugas na ako ng plato. Isang plato lang ok? At hindi MGA PLATO.

Number three: Maglilinis na ako ng banyo if --- ay! Hanggang dalawa na lang pala ang New Year’s resolution ko. Period na 'yun.

I don’t smoke. Teka irevise natin, I smoke pala. Pero hindi ako addict. Humihithit lang kong trip kong maging feeling sosyal. Dehins gusto ng katawan ko ang yosi pero ewan ko ba bakit gusto ng utak ko. I seldom drink. Hanggang 2 bote lang ako ng beer. Pero tequila pucha lalaban ako. I seldom go to bars. I would prefer a place where we could talk with sense. Ayoko ng mga taong laging oo ng oo sa akin. Mas gusto ko ‘yung lagi akong kinokontra. Kausap ang gusto ko at hindi fans. Magaling ako magbasa ng aura. Ewan ko nga bakit sa isang tingin ko lang nakakakita na ako ng mga kulay. Akala ko noong una reflection lang ng ilaw or sira lang talaga ang mata ko pero hindi pala. Emotion pala ng tao ang nakikita ko. Magaling ako magbasa at malaman ang nature ng tao sa tingin pa lang. Lumalayo ako sa mga taong may yellow na aura. Sa tingin ko kasi masasama sila or tatagain ako. Malapit ako sa mga taong berde ang aura. Kaya halos lahat ng mga nakakasundo ko may ganoong kulay. Pagdating sa kaibigan wala kang masasabi sakin. Madali akong hatakin 'pag kelangan mo ng kasama magpalipas oras. Tropa tropa lang, walang libog. Ibang usapan na kasi yun hehe. ‘Pag sa relasyon naman, ako na siguro yung pinakamanhid na taong makikilala mo. Pucha, bahala ka dyan kong ayaw mo o gusto mo sa akin basta uuwi na ako. Pero syempre dapat ipakita mo munang worthy ka na bigyan ng atensyon. Ako kasi kapag sa relasyon, bigay lahat hangga’t kaya ko. ‘Wag lang sa pera dyan tayo magkakalabuan. I’d prefer those na mas matanda sa akin pero hindi lola ang hinahanap ko. ‘Yung mature lang talaga. At saka siyempre yung kulot yung buhok katulad ko. ‘Wag nang estudyante ulit. Mahirap! Right now I’m happy with my status. Pero syempre masarap pa rin may kayakap. Hopeless romantic!

The Spanish (Ewan at Paki ko) Version

¿Quiénes son yo?

No soy hermoso. Tiendo dejé a gente decidir. Es todo subjetivo de todos modos. Pero entonces diría hay épocas que me siento que soy lindo. No soy gymbuilt tampoco. Mi pics puede revelar de otra manera pero soy justo de un tipo de cuerpo magro. Con un poco flab en el vientre. !Nunca tenía ABS! Soy blanco en persona. La mayoría de la gente que he satisfecho preguntado si tengo sangre no nativa. Dicen que soy tisoy (justo-pelado). No, no soy. Soy el 100% pinoy. Usted puede ser que sea sorprendido ver a mis parientes. Son todos oscuros. Pero todo correcto. Está quizá porque nuestro programa piloto anterior justo-fue pelado. Bien, soy feliz con mi color. Pues un classmate el mío detrás en High School secundaria diría, soy el tipo tisoy que tiene tan receptor de papel comportado. Agradece mucho (mientras que procedo a matar a mi classmate). El tauro es mi muestra, que explica porqué mi nivel de la paciencia es tan alto. Ahora no sé porqué maté a mi classmate. Mis amigos cercanos me sorprenden. Duraron con mis humores, a veces alegres, después todo el haber retirado repentino y llevar a cabo un resentimiento para cualquier razón. ¿Mental, no es? Ése es yo realmente. Muy sensible esta es la razón por la cual la detecto cuando hay un problema. Incluso ésos alrededor a conseguir enojados en mí, puedo decir.

Mi hermano de Juan Tamad. Si no para mis compañeros de cuarto nuestro sitio será probablemente una pocilga. Usted no me verá limpieza para arriba. Apenas dando a ayuda moral toda la hora. El exigir aquí y allí, quejándose él es sucio aquí, él es sucio allí. No sé a haga los platos cualquiera, así que si sé mis compañeros de cuarto no estarán alrededor, yo comprarán simplemente toman hacia fuera ”con el empaquetado del styro” requerido. Es porque cuido para la conservación del agua. Regaron una basura que se utilizará para lavar las placas. Ahora usted puede ser que piense que soy absolutamente perezoso, hehe. Todavía consigo tomar un baño diario y cepillar mis dientes. Pero ninguna limpieza el cuarto de baño para mí. Nunca haré eso. Es tema importante de mi primo realmente así que le asigné eso. A propósito, soy el jefe de mi sitio, porque I posee casi cada base y aplicación en él. Es decir son el compartir justo con mí. Tan ought hacerse útiles. ¡Hahahaha!

Dicen que estoy a distancia en el primer vistazo. Nope. Eso es justo mi modo normal. I arroja realmente cuando no le he conocido todavía. ¡Misterioso! ¡Hornilla del dinero! Al preocuparse, me ejecuto a la alameda. Debe pasar. Terapia de las compras. Es mi resolución del Año Nuevo. ¡Debe salvar!

Me estropean. Yup, me estropean. ' causa soy el más joven. Me utilizan a conseguir lo que deseo. Incluso haré que una etiqueta del primo adelante para un forzado da un paseo en la alameda hasta que se cierra para el día. Pero aún, ninguna lata. ¡Cada uno que va con mí a la alameda es un pequeño sansui (un psst! y van a casa) tan ahora yo prefieren el dar un paseo por me. ¿Cuándo resolvería una personalidad dominante que no es sansui? ¡Haha! Ahora que usted ha conocido ' a la cara no tan buena ' de mí, es su llamada si usted continúa leyendo encendido o apenas cerrando ventana de los a**hole de este fuckin '.

Soy un geek del arte. Si usted tiene gusto de las materias del arte como pinturas, los poemas, las películas, y ”yo” que conseguiremos adelante bien. Adicto a Palanca. Cada semana casi, estoy en su oficina a leer y a leer. Monstruo del café. Regular de Starbucks en Glorietta. Pero no he conseguido a su planificador. Dicen que es grande pero se siente como soy apenas extraño, porqué no yo siéntase como hacer algunos trozos estampar --- uhmm --- alrededor 21 para tener uno. Lo más probablemente posible el producto del indolence. Juan Tamad debe ahora fluir en mis venas. ¿Pero no es atroz a ser perezoso? Tan este año, deseo cambiar. Usted sabe, hice mi propia resolución del Año Nuevo con respecto a mi holgazanería.

Número uno: Limpiaré mi sitio si ABSOLUTAMENTE es NECESARIO.

Número dos: Me lavaré. ¿Apenas una placa, autorización? Y no MUCHAS PLACAS.

Número tres: Limpiaré el cuarto de baño SI --- los oops. Estoy guardando mis resoluciones del Año Nuevo a dos. Eso es un período.

No fumo. Espere, cambiemos eso, yo fuman. Pero no soy un adicto. Fumo solamente cuando me siento como upscale temporario. Mis cigarrillos de las chatarras del cuerpo, pero yo nos preguntamos porqué mi mente lo desea. Bebo raramente. Dos botellas de cerveza y de ésa son él para mí. Voy raramente a las barras. Preferiría un lugar en donde podríamos hablar con sentido. Odio la gente que está cabeceando siempre sí en mí. Prefiero a los que me contradigan toda la hora. Quisiera que alguien hablara con, no los ventiladores. Soy bueno en las aureolas de la lectura. Me pregunto porqué veo estos colores cuando miro alrededor. Al principio I pensado le estaba una reflexión de la luz o mis ojos fueron dañados simplemente pero no, veía las emociones de la gente. Soy bueno en la lectura y conseguir la naturaleza alguien en un vistazo. Permanezco lejos de la gente con aureolas amarillas. Porque las percibo para ser malvado, o para cortarme alrededor con un cuchillo. Me siento cerca de la gente con aureolas verdes. Esta es la razón por la cual casi cada uno que consigo junto con tiene ese color. Cuando viene a la amistad, usted no puede colocar una mala palabra en mí. Seré fácilmente su compañero para tirar a la brisa. El ser justo amigos cómodos, nada córneo. Ése es otro hehe de la cosa ya. En cuanto a lazos, soy la persona más densa que usted conocerá. Maldición, es su problema si usted me odia o me desea pero voy a casa. Receptor de papel por supuesto usted tiene que mostrarle que sea digno llevar a cabo mi atención. ' causa cuando estoy en un lazo, daré todos lo que puedo permitirme para dar. Justo deje hacia fuera el dinero, allí será apuro si conseguimos implicados en ése. Tengo gusto mejor de esos más maduros que mí pero no estoy buscando a abuelita. Gente justa más madura que mí. No otra vez alguien que tiene un estudiante. ¡Es complicado! Ahora soy feliz con mi estatus. Por supuesto será grande tener un abrazar-compañero. !Romántico desesperado!

credits po kay cielo for the English Version and yours truly for Taglish and the Spanish Versions. :)

2007-03-07T17:14:00.000+08:00

Finding Kirkland

Very funny. This is a Wacky Pinoy Family sketch comedy from 2005 "The FOB Show" at Bindlestiff Studio www.bindlestiffstudio.org www.fobshow.com

So far this is my favorite play on YouTube!

2007-01-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

wicked

she is my darkest
deadly serpent
with eyes dazzling
creating radiant venom
within my spines
her tongue seemed
like whips hissing--bleeding the insides
of my brain full of
her echoing essense like
deep great burgeoning big spells
that have petrified those frizky
bachelors of that bar

but I do not care
whether I had been knocked
down with her mysterious
looks one time like
the time i sporadically
gone insane with
her ever naughty glances
or rather jinxes that
have made my pants even tighter
i once claimed her secretly
to crawl within me
just one single moment
that i accepted her venom
letting her tongue
hiss personally to me
hearing and absorbing
her spells even more
even i may got petrified

even i may got sick.

2007-01-05T18:45:00.000+08:00

Baygon

Kinaiinisan ko ang buhay ko
Dahil sa kalungkutang
Dulot ng bombang Baygon na ini-spray
Sa halamanan ni Aling Maria
Kulubot na nga ang balat ko
Lalasonin pa nila ako
Sampu ng mga pesteng bumubuhay
Sa tatalun-talong kong buhay
Wala na nga talaga akong puwang
Sa syudad na dati’y paborito at ligtas
Kong tirhan at tambayan
Ang dating bukid ngayo’y kinatatampukan
Na ng mga konkretong bagay na
Naging puntod na nila inay at itay
At ngayon, gaya ng hula
Ni Nostradamus, maaakit
rin ako sa kagandahan ng konkretong daan
Ang sa isip ko ay makatakas
Lang sa Binaygong halamanan ngunit
Sa isang talon ko lang
Nakarinig ako ng busina ng sasakyan
Na ikinabingi ko at pagkatapos
Nag-UGGGGKKK…pssssssssstchak!

2006-12-29T13:49:00.000+08:00

The Phone

I was half asleep
When the phone rang
Maybe once, twice or trice
But I can't get up
For her memories kept on ringing my head
That I don't know when will stop
from calling---hunting me
I know it was her who called
For the rings seemed
To be endless with
Just little intervals of silence
I am sure she really wants
To hear my voice
Or hear my golden forgiveness
But I really cannot get up
Or
I don't want to get up
Quite contented for her
Stuck in the other line
Thirsty amidst that undying rings

Will I answer the phone?

I have no longer had any strength
To deduce all the possiblities for
silence can yield its powerful
Numbness much more like
My impaired senses, with that
I can't feel anything more
As my heart is now hard and heavy stucked
within these grains of sand
We once called "our bed"
Those were nights we could feel the earth's
Crust where we used to build sandcastles

Not houses.

2006-12-28T10:27:00.000+08:00

This article is a reflection after being left out by a new friend I met last December. He said he is scheduled to go to Banate Iloilo for a camping which strucked me the most to write something about it.

BANATE

Change had been in the forefront of our midst. Throughout the centuries, it is still obliterating the mind of every individual whose thirst for machinations seem to be insatiable. This individual equipped with his mundane mind hovered by echoes of spirits and minds of saints now stands in the frontier of modern age. Yet their kind has been constantly wallowing in the depths of mediocrity – with their roots tangled in a consciousness where nature is disdained, neglected, and abused.

But in the place where the minds are molded and hearts are shaped, some remained to be suspects, criminals, and wicked for nature. They always die for power – for money as they believe that technology makes its own way to achieve strength using the environment.

In this era where technology continues to ensnare the minds of their kind, their desire for profit plays a big role. As they continue to purport this mantra, they remain to squeeze up every single part of our dear mother earth. They still want more power, more money, and more abuses.

BANATE, ILOILO- A Korean firm plans the construction of a 150- million-dollar coal-fired power plant in this town amidst all the disapproval of residents and mounting opposition to the project.

Korean Electric Power Corp. (KEPCO) has signed a memorandum of understanding with the municipal government to conduct studies for the construction of the plant under a build-own-and-operate scheme. Build-own-and-operate scheme is under the Republic Act No. 7718 Section 2(d). It is a contractual arrangement whereby a project proponent is authorized to finance, construct, own, operate and maintain an infrastructure or development facility from which the proponent is allowed to recover its total investment, operating and maintenance costs plus a reasonable return thereon by collecting tolls, fees, rentals or other charges from facility users: Provided, That all such projects, upon recommendation of the Investment Coordination Committee (ICC) of the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA), shall be approved by the President of the Philippines. Under this project, the proponent who owns the assets of the facility may assign its operation and maintenance to a facility operator.

Despite widespread opposition from various sectors, KEPCO said the plant was environmentally safe because it would utilize Circulating Fluidized Bed Combustion (CFBC) technology.

But opponents of the project led by the Banatenhon Against Coal-fired Plant and the People's Response for the Protection of the Environment (PROTECT) presented studies of coal plants in the Philippines and abroad, which had caused environmental damage especially to communities near the plants.

Bayan Muna Representative Siegfred Deduro said he would author a resolution, seeking to scrap the project.
Deduro said the project would cause "incalculable damage" to the livelihood of the people and environment of the coastal towns of Northern Iloilo.

The project also faces opposition in the provincial board where at least four board members--Henry Anotado, Bienvenido Margarico, Romeo Palmares and Igmedio Prado--have declared their opposition to the plant.

The X Analysis: There are a lot of adverse effects on the planned 150- million-dollar coal-fired power plant. Studies show that it could harm the sea environment that could lead illnesses and mutations. In short, it would greatly affect the residents of Banate Iloilo.

But the effect is not just limited to the people in Banate Iloilo. This is the reason why so many concerned citizens, students, writers, artists, and the likes are in opposition for this plan even though some of them are not from Banate. We are all affected most especially the business sector.

All the businesses acts in our environment and thus when its environment is neglected and abused there’s no more reason for the business to survive. In strict sense, we can make up to a point that the environment is connected with the business sector. This makes the effect of the planned power plant a big threat in the business environment.

Without even thinking, there are two possibilities – the plant will be constructed or it will be shelved. These two possibilities as all of these are possible leads in different effects in our business sector.

If the plant will be constructed, our government will not necessarily benefit a thing for the project not until the period for the transfer of ownership are due. In fair understanding, the government will own the plant when the Korean firms are satisfied with their profit. Now, if ever project is constructed, the government is not directly involved in the operation of the plant. In this case, the plant will absolutely be free to raise their rates. Since the KEPCO plant serves the entire Western Visayas, all the businesses will be affected. As electric rates rises, there is a tendency of a lesser profit for local businesses. If this happens, consumers tend to buy less for the increases in price of common commodity or in a longer span of time, a limit to their buying habits. As there would be limited buyers, local investors would refrain from investing. This will result to a poor business environment with no such opportunities from their usual customers. In the global aspect, we will expect that there would be numerous offers for the government especially from foreign companies with the aid of the BOT schemes. More will invest to our country as they are sure of having a profit. There is actually a positive impact for these foreign investors NOT for us. Note that the BOT schemes promote freedom for these foreign companies to use our natural environment for business. In this particular scheme

If the plant will be shelved, our local business industry will be at normal operation. No hindrances for the environment, no danger for the Banatenhon, and no added problems to anyone.

The X Recommendation: The only recommendation to this matter is for the government to hear the cries of our fellow kababayans in Banate – that is to scrap off the plan.

The government must fairly visualize and know all the bad effects of the plan by formulating further studies. Indeed that the researches made by the opposition will thoroughly make the government realize how it will greatly ruin the environment. Although we will expect that more foreign companies will invest in our country if we have the plant, we still must not destroy and abuse our environment – our local business environment.

The government must likewise render necessary laws to protect our environment. Protecting our environment will mean protecting our local businesses. They must form different research department to gather more information for any other construction planned by any company. The investigation of different plants throughout the world must also be considered as basis for the effectiveness of any other plan of construction.

X' SOURCES:
www.asianjournal.com/cgi-bin/view_info.cgi?code=00002105&category=, Korean Firm To Shelve Coal Plant Without Village Nod.

REPUBLIC ACT NO. 7718, “The Philippine BOT Law”, REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES Congress Of The Philippines Metro Manila

2006-12-05T09:55:00.000+08:00

From the Muddy Waters

Conflict can be helpful in making necessary changes within the home or work environment. However, unresolved conflict can result in feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, hopelessness, depression, and other emotions. It can result in behaviors such as physical or emotional withdrawal, resignation from jobs, dissolution of personal relations, aggression, and even violence.” - Mary Rau-Foster

And so it happened. The differences and obvious clashes within us at work have just emerged from the muddy waters.

From this point in time, I learned more about the realism of my workplace and any other workplace in general. You see just this week, I learned that group behavior is totally not the way my former managerial books have conceptualized it. You know, I used to think about employees caring for each other, going out to the beach, chatting all together when its time to go home, sharing laughter, and any smiling faces I often see in most of our HR press releases. I was wrong. Books will just stay there in our shelves just for principles and concepts to reflect but not entirely to follow all its idealism that’s why these smiling faces in press releases, unison of the minds of employees, and all jazz are just kept there to realize that it is all too impossible to achieve consistently. They are just all too far from any book’s idealism that we could always merge in one thought, beliefs, and principles. That is all too impossible. There can still be clashes or contradicting personalities emerging from the muddy waters. (I would call it muddy to symbolize the social world of my workplace in particular).

Emerging from the muddy waters, there are those people who lacks understanding or worse do not let themselves digest and implement what they had understood. There are likewise those people who are illogical, bias, and totally out of context in sharing their view in matters of most importance. Their minds were overruled by being so self embracing more considerate to themselves from the company. Worse, they put work as their dwelling place for their craziness to express more what they cannot express at home. They are going to the extremity of making what should a professional place into a chaotic market-like environment.

On the other part of the muddy waters, there emerge those people of fine tone whom I could trust and put it primarily in my friends list. They are those people who are of most admired through their attitudes and the way they could handle situations. They knew proper etiquette, respect, and the basic lesson of being even. They used their minds more than the physical. That’s why they emerged in the muddy waters clean, polished, and shimmering for their every action is well planned and implemented. They are logical, balanced, and always on their feet closely using their minds before any particular action. They are also company oriented or driven.

There are also those people I would label as “the others” whom don’t have any idea of what is happening around them or maybe they just don’t care at all. They were simply neutral nearly has ignorance of what really happened. Basically, they just don’t want to join in with the clash. They would just remain silent relatively safe from conflicts or they just don’t want to be affected after all. Usually, they wear smiling faces most of the time quite ignorant about the wars on his or her sides.

These are the characters of my workplace which I am spending the biggest part of my career or perhaps my whole working life. My work week takes up five whole days that are planned completely around the job. I wake up at a certain time, dress a certain way, and commute to a certain place for only one reason: face ALL of them at work. It is usually here that a great many relationships are formed. The people around me make up an important aspect of my job, and the stage is set by whatever tones these work relationships have. It is just so disappointing that I am now experiencing a rotten tone of work relationship.

I want it to be fixed – that is, to make everything in order.

I just read an Oracle Magazine, in which I would say is extremely relevant to what I am saying so far in this chapter. I want to share this excerpt from the said magazine:

Where there are people, there is the potential for conflict. And it doesn’t take an HR expert to realize that unresolved conflict in the workplace can be costly—in terms of low morale and productivity, litigation, sabotage, or even violence—which is why organizations increasingly view conflict resolution skills as a core competency for many employees.

According to Kathy Stewart, vice president of client services for Chorda , which partners with organizations to design conflict management systems, many employees are choosing to ignore conflict rather than resolve it. With increased uncertainty about roles, reporting structures, and power differentials, they fear they could get hurt politically if they make a wrong move.
But, handled correctly, conflict isn’t necessarily negative. It can be an opportunity to solve problems. There are four main ways, Stewart says, that people deal with conflict:

Avoidance. Or just hoping the situation will go away. This is the initial step of a party which relatively concludes that nothing is to be fixed after all. In other words, the other party might be in bad taste already having a reputation of not listening to any form of confrontation.

Avoidance includes division or dissection of the team forming their own groups and peers. In the long run, an individual will not feel good once merge with the other group and vice versa.

Higher authority. Allowing a third party, such as a supervisor or an HR person, to make a decision for the parties. Arbitration and litigation are also higher-authority processes. For, instance, the party will leave the issue to the HR to bring appropriate actions to the one affected.

Power play. Forcing a particular resolution upon the other party—for instance, sit-ins, strikes, sabotage or worse mass resignation.

Collaboration. This process occurs through individual initiative, conversation, negotiation, or mediation.

“The preferred path, or the least costly route for problem-solving, is to use collaboration first, with higher authority as a backup,” notes Stewart.

How could we use collaboration?

Resolve issues early. Deal with problems as they arise rather than allowing them to escalate.
Listen on a deeper level. Try to understand the other person’s position before you speak—and listen to the underlying interests that motivate that position. Let’s say somebody asks you for a raise. Rather than responding, “No, we don’t have the budget for it,” creatively explore all options with that person. Perhaps what the person really desires is recognition, which could be addressed in other ways.

Be conversational, not confrontational. If you’re having problems with someone, approach that person in a non-confrontational way. It is often helpful to disclose something about yourself so that your attempt is perceived as less a confrontation than a conversation. (For example: “I wonder if you can help me better understand how you see our various roles and responsibilities.”) That way, you’re inviting the other person around to your side of the table to look at the problem together.

Build a Kinder Workplace. There are other ways to reframe how you think about conflict. Tom Terez, founder of BetterWorkplaceNow.com and author of 22 Keys to Creating a Meaningful Workplace, would like to see people focus on conflict prevention. “We need to think about how we can build the bonds of our relationships such that we minimize conflict and also so that when conflict does occur, we are equipped to deal with it,” says Terez, who offers this advice:

Pay attention to those first 30 seconds. How you initiate a conversation is critical. If the first minute is negative, the rest of the conversation will be too. Avoid sounding skeptical, antagonistic, or disrespectful. Also, say what you mean instead of playing games. Likewise, if someone else is the initiator, it’s critical that you’re conscious of how you respond to that “bid” to engage. You should turn toward rather than away from the person.

Realize that nobody’s perfect. You can have all the conflict resolution skills in the world, but some people are hard to get along with. BetterWorkplaceNow.com offers advice for dealing with limelight hogs, pessimists, control freaks, and other trying types, in its “Difficult Dozen Help Zone.” But a kinder workplace isn’t built in a day. You have to think long-term and be willing, as Terez says, to “do the heavy lifting of building your relationships.”

In addendum, I have also this 7 commandment in the workplace that I remembered posted in my former office. I just hope that the team will embraced these commandments. I just love these commandments as my former officemates usually recite these whenever we feel future conflicts to arise or there might be some misunderstandings within ourselves during our meetings. :)

Seven Commandments to Embrace in the Workplace

1. We are Solution Oriented, Not Problem Focused. When identifying any problem, we always provide at least 1 solution.

2. We seek to have all of our customers and team members feel “Trusted, Important, Special and Pleased” through respectful verbal and non-verbal communication.

3. We address any workplace conflict within 24 hours or it did not happen.

4. We look for the good in other people, recognizing if we don’t we’ll never know any good people.

5. We refrain from destructive inner-office gossip recognizing the negative impact on our team.

6. We have fun working together and celebrate our accomplishments.

7. We begin each work-day with a positive greeting, recognizing the first 15 minutes of the day often sets the team environment#.

2006-11-13T12:16:00.000+08:00

A Poem to Water

Of all the four ancient elements of nature,
Fire; wind; water; earth
You resemble mostly of water
Free-flowing without fixed shape
That you could fit in
With everything.

A humble coconut shell
A fractured one would do
A filthy, rusty drum
It can be cleaned anyways
A glass
A cracked glass won’t matter still
Or even the inferior of all inferiors;
A dam in the mountains
That you did accepted quite
Positively no matter
How people cursed that damn

But then you seem
To be so calm
Sleeping at most
Still vibrant listening accepting
Faults; cracks; curses.

Even on the ocean floors
You still keep tranquility
Reflecting the blue colors of the sky;
A sort of connection
Of how happy you are;
I mean how happy we are.

For when the rain comes
And the sky turned dark and angry
You fight, turning into
That same insane color
A rebellion to
fire; earth; wind
Never letting go
Reflecting and connecting
Any sort of color of the sky.

And there I am
The humble coconut shell;
Filthy rusty drum;
That cracked glass;
An old pugnacious debatable dam;
And that insane sky that
Any of those remaining elements
Of nature couldn’t stand.

You simply are running
Off my unsaturated life form
Touching my life
To create rills and gullies
Filling my small rocky stream bed
With a lot of spirit
Guiding my days
Like a young river
Emerging gradually as a porous steam bank
For when I dry out
You still appear to be
Like small streams
Still obliged to return water
In my capillary spaces in my soil
Giving up to make me exist
Joining gullies
Rushing down mountainsides
Streaming across the hills
Until I realized
I am beginning to gather
And assume the promise of my mighty identity.

With the infinite river.

2006-11-10T09:10:00.000+08:00

Bored

Just recently, I read a classic novel of George Orwell entitled “The Animal Farm.” I chose to include this in my blog because this indeed stroked me more this week awakening my senses of trying to know more about how I could really make a difference or if I am really making sense staying here in my current company. I would like to quote these lines from the said book:

“Life is miserable, laborious, and short. We are born, we are given just food by working to the last atom of our strength, and the very instant that our usefulness has come to an end, we are nothing anymore. Life follows the order of nature. It must be. But what happened now? It follows the order of society. Our fertile land is capable of affording food in abundance to an enormous greater number of people. But society built life to imprison abundance; to steal huge part of our labour. It is the root cause of hunger and overwork…”

The above lines were from an old Boar, well a boar; and he can talk! Well, it is not from the mere fact that the boar and the other animals in the book can talk that made me like the book even more but rather the impact of the said lines to me when I first read it. The boar’s striking statement is actually how I am viewing life. For a pig, obviously life is indeed miserable, laborious and short but what I have reflected more to the said line was his world that he grew up with – that is him to be pushed to his job (of eating, sleeping, and be slaughtered…poor fellow) and give more or less a mouthful of food for his survival no matter how would he ever exert effort and try to maximize its usefulness to the whole farm. In effect he is bored, stocked to want change; of rebellion. That is why he took great effort to educate the other animals (which are quite ignorant to understand what he is saying). The middle part of the book states more of rebellion – that all the animals would want to rule the farm for themselves. To kick out the farmer and make the farm as their own – which turned out to be very successful indeed.

The story is quite long but I chose to pick up just this part of the novel to reflect. With the kind of short life that I had, I used to realize if what purpose would I actually give to our country as to make a difference to the society that obviously imprison abundance. Right now, I am actually bored with the kind of environment that I had. I just don’t know if I would stay for so long. Aside from the not so good working culture, I am a bit troubled if I am really into this job. You know I am a marketing bachelor and it is always my passion to market as of my personal goal as to have customer interaction every now and then. I am not actually complaining with the kind of work load that I had and how it makes me have something to eat anyhow. What really is making me bugged out is the way my finances are going.

You know, I rarely sent financial support to my family in the province which is a great shame in my part especially when my Dad was hospitalized just last Friday due to brain seizures. I am out of control that day when I received a call from them begging financial support which in a blink of an eye forced me to send my entire savings for my whole stay in my company. I cannot even visit him in the hospital. What I just made was entirely prayers; or should I say miracles to happen to make him ok.

One day I made a hard conversation with a good friend of mine which works at a well-to-do call center in Makati. He was actually concerned about how on earth am I surviving without even sending financial support to my family before the incident. Actually, I do not know what to say at that moment. I thought of my good trainings at work, the nice treatment of HR, my chosen peers, and the likes that made me think if I would really want to give out these things just for the sake of being financially free. I am not saying that what my company is given me is just enough to make me work to the last atom of my strength. It is just that, I feel concerned about the current situation of my family just recently. I could imagine how my Mom begged money to my relatives and how I am so useless to have of more help in times of need like this. Indeed my usefulness in the project had already gone to the point that I am quite competitive in doing my different functions and how I could already understand them. But what is the sense anyways when I was stocked up in front of the monitor the whole night/day quite discontented with my lousy social environment, with the not that high pay, and unstable working tenure if I know there are still other opportunities hailing for me outside.

Life is supposed to be following the order of nature or rather by society up to this point of time that our country remained poor and still unhealthy brought by exporting its brilliant skilled workers abroad. But what sort of image it now created. Labor seemed to be so stiff in the country that nobody is quite satisfied with what they earn – er with what I earn. Our fertile land remained to be vacant; unproductive with lack of human hands to be motivated to start a living. It is just because, our huge part of our fruits of labor were always being stolen by society to build us as their very own human hands creating profits to pay our foreign debts; or rather they prefer to want more of these profits down to their pockets. And yes indeed. We are far from the Boar’s view of having a rebellion for changed knowing that the president is entirely satisfied seeing our currencies go higher for lots of remittances from abroad. A dollar would probably cost less than 50 box here but still we have hungry, overworked, and underpaid citizens left behind in this beautiful country.

I am incredibly going crazy with my words that I just left it this blog. I think I am getting out of tune if I elaborate some more of my candid statements. Anyways, just like what I said in the past chapters, I am not resigning now but rather just thinking about it. It is just, I am becoming to be very financially driven this week when my Dad was hospitalized.

2006-10-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

A Reflection

I am thinking of resigning.

I know it would be an absolute shock that a blog would contain the word “resigning” from a mere budding employee. But however you may scrutinize such a word it is still just my unfounded mood of my thought as of this week; a not so much important word that had just pass on one of my messy reflections. The thought of resigning is actually pulling me out of my sleeves trying to predict if I really belong in this highly different society of people out of my imagination to exist in a workplace. Yes, there are a few that I liked the same way as they do like me in a broad spectrum. However, these “other” sort of people I stressed is far more than like the folks I rarely imagine to pass HR's difficult application process. I understand that I am being so irrational with those words but that is exactly what I am feeling for the entire week of reflections regarding my existence at work that I am confident enough to express it to unload a part of my heavy mood.

Clashes do happen. Thus this leads to miscommunications up to the point of ignoring each other building humongous barriers – walls that separate social interaction between us inside and outside work. Things aren’t go always the way we want it to be (and so do I). That’s why it is normal that there are disagreements, clashes in our personalities, beliefs and principles that’s why there is conflict. Conflicts can be an indicator of a healthy working environment that’s why I am not saying that we must do away with it. What I am referring here is the so-called “intense conflict”. This is not the journalistic jargon of the worse situation in Lebanon of a bloody war but rather a far more related war in the minds of “planted” hatred that had result to lousy social interaction of all the people involve. It is coined as “a war without an end”. I really understand it very well as most of my books way back in college about Organizational Behavior told me lots of it.

To build a variation of explaining these “intense conflicts” in the workplace as well as giving solutions, I would like to share an excerpt of a radio broadcast from Good Radio. My ears were registered from this radio broadcast in an instant, hearing words like “mediation” and “conflicts” every now and then. I made stenographic notes to run through their words that I suppose to be of relevance to share.

[start]

Moderator: What are some of the most common types of conflict that people have to mediate in the workplace?

X: A lot of conflict in the workplace has to do in general with miscommunication. Something somebody thought they heard and didn’t check out. Rumors that are spread, that sort of thing. Often times, we’ll find that a supervisor sent an email and then the email was misinterpreted by somebody…..

Y: [Sometimes] it’s a clash of expectations, unexpressed expectations. “Well I thought you knew that…” or “Why didn’t you tell me that?” And rumors are a way that people have of filling in the blanks when they don’t know what’s going on. [They make up stuff like] “we’re going out of business or she got the advancement because of…whatever.”

Moderator: What happens next? Do people just get madder and madder or are people ignoring each other? How does it turn into a conflict?

X: One thing that happens is that people gang up. We go out and try to find colleagues who agree with where we think things are and end up bifurcating the workplace. There’s actually a phenomenon called bullying that’s occurring in workplaces – people feel picked on or outnumbered. People can just hold in their resentment or their fears until such time that they have a little explosion.

Y: It’s sort of like junior high. There’s a fight. So people start to take sides. They start gathering evidence. They begin ascribing lots and lots of motives…”because they’re cousins, because somebody paid off somebody, because, because, because…” People become labeled and stereotyped and categorized. Then pretty soon, people who should be [talking] are not talking. People who shouldn’t be talking are. The amount of information goes down and the amount of rumor goes up. People get upset. The initial cause gets lost. Certainly nobody has stopped to find out what really happened.

Moderator: What is mediation and how does it help?

X: Mediation is a voluntary confidential process. One or two mediators who are third party to the issue at hand, who are objective, fair witnesses, who are sworn to confidentiality, and who are neutral, actually facilitate communication between the folks who are involved in whatever brought them to the mediation table. It’s an opportunity for the ones who are directly involved in a conflict to be the ones who directly resolve the conflict. The mediator doesn’t tell people what to do, the mediator isn’t a judge, the mediator isn’t there to figure out who’s right or wrong. The mediator’s really there to help them have a conversation about whatever it is that’s going on. People can leave the table with a mutually satisfactory resolution to their issues.

Moderator: How can folks improve their communication at work?

X: People really need to listen to one another without judgment if they can pull that one off. We tend to take things personally, we tend to hear the other one as attacking us. Instead, it’s better if we can listen seeking to understand where they’re coming from rather than becoming defensive immediately. Because when we feel attacked, we generally either choose to defend ourselves or attack back and defending ourselves usually sounds like an attack – we blame. “If only you had listened to me, you wouldn’t be asking that question….” People generally make assumptions. “I think I know what you mean but I don’t want to show my ignorance, or whatever, so I’m not going to ask the question. SO we make an assumption over what we think you mean and we’re almost always wrong. And on the other side of that, I think most people don’t say clearly what they mean. We generally cover that up a lot of times...for good reasons we think. We don’t want to hurt somebody. We don’t want to be vulnerable. I’m not going to tell you what I really mean because I don’t want to make it worse. So instead we end up talking about things that we don’t really mean.

Y: How to say what’s so, how to speak the truth, without blame or judgment is a key.

X: The key is really in accepting that for each person, their value structure that they’ve come to is right for them. And that’s kind of a challenge in our culture for many cases for us to be willing to say, “Alright, my way of looking at this is good, and your way of looking [at it] is good for you.” And maybe we can even grow by recognizing that there’s two ways of looking at the same thing.

X(still): This isn’t rocket science – to use an old cliché. This is about honest and open communication and most folks realize that’s what’s supposed to be happening. We don’t really even understand ourselves why we don’t do that. So there’s something pretty wonderful about watching people just sort of be willing to do what they want to do in their relationships and communication and give up some of the programming that somehow or other we’ve all gotten. We need to recognize that conflict in the workplace is going to happen. This isn’t about stopping all conflict. This is about changing the way we think about it, changing the way we look at it and then being willing, and then being brave enough to change the way that we talk to each other about whatever it is we see as differences between us.

Y: I see mediation in the workplace and elsewhere as an opportunity to create a space for people to be able to say what they need to say, so that others can hear, so that they can create the kind of future together that they want.

[end of the excerpt]

For this week, I realized that I have now move a bit forward for my realization that what would really make me feel committed and work effectively is the positive culture of an organization. I don’t care about the not so high pay or any high standards of the HR services to its employees. What really matters to me is the bright and shining “professional culture” evident in my counterparts. They mustn’t be just like drunkards beside Aling Nena’s sari-sari store, not like mere uneducated lads of the streets, not like those indecent groups in a cheap karaoke bar, but as respectable individuals of society. And of course not like those “ignore I exist” and backfighter humdrum individuals inside and outside the office. I cannot anymore elaborate what sort of idealism I had created from this point but then it is of great distress to witness a certain organization plutonically far from this bright idealism. How could this had happen, I just don’t know personally but this is actually happening.

Well, I cannot say that I am such a perfect fellow finding faults to some of my counterparts because I might as well have personal faults in my performance. I cannot also say that they’re the mere reason why I am so temperamental with the condition of the team or why I exhibit such a well-reserved personality. It would be the reason that the company brought me at a package. Or maybe their respective signals doesn’t really match with mine that my horizons of people that I would be proud to call close-encounters are few. Even so, I dislike being called as reserved because naturally I’m loud as anyone would think of. I would say that with this attitude I wear most often just show my sense of being even.

I am writing this not for reform but just as a realization based on how my mind assess the situation eminent at work. I may not really take this blog entry seriously after a few weeks in time because I feared (or happy?) that I would be like one of them in the future. I am still going to stay for long because I am still valuing the good training that my company had taught me. It is also because of my extreme loads of patience continually shelled inside me. As you know, I have stood far more than a year already without seeing my family back in my province. I do stand ensconced to the ground with how hard it is to live alone without any known relatives to call when I am on hard times. It is just that I am well equipped to accept life as a challenge – as a competition to fight my life’s villains named as “hardships and trials” for even once I haven’t yet felt defeated or even won anything. It just always that I am left in the middle of the way hanging within the grounds of trying to know what really is my endpoint and what really will make me motivate to work to the extremity of my capacity.

I am not resigning right now for if I do I cannot stand to call myself as a chicken. I might stay here for good. I just don’t know.

I am just thinking about resigning.

2006-10-13T15:58:00.000+08:00

Excellence

I am striking a pose to shoot at Excellence as our main peak at work. We may define it the way we top achieving the highest stats of receiving rewards for 100% audit scores in our job tasks. Well, sad to say we are not really excelling at work but gradually building our roads to success. I am not contradicting this concepts because they may go hand in hand in nature that we finish are respective accounts but sometimes we are completely building to center our attention to success rather than being excellent. According to an essay by J. Hampton Keathley entitled: “The Pursuit of Excellence”, the pursuit of excellence is "not to be a quest for superiority", and is not about "competition" or about "outstripping others", which is "usually done for one's own glory or significance or for the praise or applause of men". Instead, he quotes differences between success and excellence at work:

"Success means being the best. Excellence on the other hand means being your best.”

“Success means being better than everyone else. Excellence means being better tomorrow than you were yesterday.”

“Success means exceeding the achievements of other people. Excellence means matching your practice with your potential of sharing them to others."

We may be successful but it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are being excellent. I want the team to reflect to achieve both concepts yet still prioritizing excellence on top of our heads like a cherry on an ice cream cup

2006-10-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

The Seven Dwarfs (or Dwarves; whatever)

I thought of the word “group behaviors” which have been taught to us from college under the subject corporate management. In fact I already read a couple of articles about these. Most of them are quite far from my likings of digesting more of it up to my brain. They’re quite in a broad spectrum and not really that spectacular to share. Let’s just say, I am really sick and tired of reading any other corporate management books or maybe I am just getting my head off even just reading the word ‘corporate’ and ‘management’ together just in the cover. But something just broke in the monotony of my itsy bitsy scanning of ‘ukay ukay’ books on sale. It is a book by Executive Solutions Inc. I think they are a group of people that focus studies of personal behaviors of individuals at work. The book although quite old and somewhat outdated, simply just tells the personalities of the Seven Dwarfs. (The plural of ‘dwarf’ should be dwarrows. I don’t know why language through the years just accepted the plural to be ‘dwarfs’ based on this Disney classic. Tolkien likewise contributed to the confusion as he created the word dwarves to suggest a much more antique-sound plural name.) Well this is out of our fairy tales or any cartoon stuff we often spared more that half our lives when we are kids. The book literally enumerated several attributes of the attitudes of these seven dwarfs in the workplace. I was totally dumbfounded when I read their respective unique descriptions.

I made a summary of the whole text and try to reflect a bit from the long descriptive see of gray of personalities each individual dwarf possess. Naturally, each one of them is unique and has its own weaknesses and strengths. Their characters somewhat clutter if you would try to mix them up in a certain crowded place. Again, they clutter. They are what it seem to be different forces of nature so to speak. And I believe that each one of us has a character from one of these dwarfs.

THE SEVEN DWARFS OF A WORKPLACE

BASHFUL.

Generally at Work:

Bashful always looks shy
Bashful may actually blush when spoken to
Bashful also may avoid eye contact, look down, bow their head a little bit
Bashful may avoid looking at group leader, hoping not to be called on.
Bashful may try to hide in the middle of the group
All Bashfuls are generally quiet
Bashfuls wait to hear others' views before expressing theirs

In a Meeting:

Bashful speaks in a muffled voice; it's hard to hear
Bashful will not express opinions unless called upon
Bashful expresses incomplete opinions and allows others to finish sentences
Bashful waits to hear everyone else's ideas and then may change what is written on their paper (seeks to conform)

Why are they like that?

Bashful may be afraid of being exposed and/or humiliated
Bashful may have some socially unacceptable secret
Bashful-dwarf type may feel ashamed
Bashful may not have had enough experience being listened to carefully. May have grown up in an environment where their talk was not encouraged. Feels it is inappropriate to talk or take center stage.

How team leaders must manage Bashful?

1. In the initial go-round, ask an easy question which guarantees a correct response, "How long did it take to get here" What's your pet's name? How many siblings do you have? This creates a quick sense of confidence in being able to give the right answer.

2. Pair them with another person - they come out of their introverted style somewhat when they are paired up with another person that they have to help

3. Give them time to jot down their reactions before calling upon them (so they can prepare a non-embarrassing response) Ask them to read what they wrote (vs. paraphrase.)

4. Ask them what they have observed in the group (since they have probably been busy collecting facts).

5. Give them recognition for their attention to detail and recall of facts

6. Avoid asking them to respond in an impromptu manner

7. If you can anticipate that your target will have a number of Bashfuls, you might consider giving them a homework assignment so that they can think through the subject at hand before attending the research.

DOPEY

Generally at Work:

Dopey tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well but are very flexible, have a simple sense of humor which they use in tense situations.
Dopey is resourceful and take care of the group by neutralizing tension.
Dopey is good attention payer.
Dopey is very aware of his senses, the way things look, taste, feel, and smell.
Dopey dwarf people are kind, gentle, and sensitive in their dealings with people.
While they come across as being carefree and lighthearted, they actually take life very seriously, although they are uncomfortable with theorizing.
Good at looking for practical applications.
Dopeys have no desire to lead or control others, but feel compelled to interact when people they care about may be hurt.
Dopey tends to show his concerns through actions rather than words.
Dopey-dwarf type tends to be artistic.

In a Meeting:

Dopey looks interested but only speaks when called upon
Dopey tries to hide in the middle
Dopey-dwarf person parrots the expert
Dopey smiles self consciously
Dopey may try to crack a self deprecatory joke
Dopey says, "I don't know," "I'm not sure," or "maybe"
Dopey tries to get away with never registering his own opinion
If writing responses, dopey will try to scratch out "wrong answer" after hearing answers

Why are they like that?

Dopey is afraid of being blamed
Dopey is unwilling to take responsibility for his ideas
Dopey has fear of being called "stupid"
Dopey tends to put down his own ideas internally
Dopey would really like to be seen as having worthwhile thoughts but too frightened to risk it

How team leaders must manage Dopey?

Let dopey know that the results of the work in the group will have practical applications and benefits to others.
Give him freedom to respond to the questions in his own way on paper. All answers are good answers
Let dopey dwarf draw his ideas on paper
Laugh at Dopey's jokes, if at all possible

DOC

Generally at Work:

Doc dislikes seeing mistakes repeated, and have no patience with inefficiency.
Docs naturally have little patience with people who do not see things the same way as they do.
Doc-dwarf people are naturally born leaders
Docs make decisions quickly
Doc-dwarf people are very verbal about their opinions
Docs are driven to accomplish
Doc can be a forceful, intimidating and overbearing individual.

In a Meeting:

Doc announces his expertise very early in the meeting
Doc sits opposite the leader
Doc tries to take over leadership
Doc answers every question, reminding group of his status
Doc calls for consensus from others on his views
Doc asks rhetorical questions
Doc is intimidating to other group members
If there are other docs in the group, it creates a competitive atmosphere
Doc avoids talking about feelings
Doc only willing to discuss pure facts
Doc-dwarf people interrupt other meeting members
Doc talks loudly and aggressively
Doc is contemptuous
Doc is often nitpicking and perfectionist

Why are they like that?

Doc feels inadequate. That's why he's always "on" and needing to prove himself
Doc afraid of being found out - he thinks he's not really smart/informed
Doc feels compelled to perform
Doc wants to be loved for who he really is
Doc would just like to relax and be accepted without having to work so hard

How team leaders must manage Doc?

1. Create a well organized meeting where definite guidelines are set
Engage doc-dwarf people in creative problem solving
2. Let them know that their input will help control and perfect whatever the results are so that things will run more smoothly
3. Allow them to express their opinions on paper first and call on them to read their response when it makes sense to you as leader
4. Maintain focus in the group NOT on Doc but still appreciate Doc as well as giving credit to other group members (and other dwarf-types) as a creative, hard-working team
5. Ask Doc for his advice in how to solve any problem in the group by jotting down his thoughts about it, and then calling on him to share it later.
6. Acknowledge his special expertise
7. "Take pressure off him" by saying: We don't want to give Doc our jobs by counting on him to answer all our questions
8. And ofcourse, call on him last.

GRUMPY

Generally at Work:

Grumpy likes to see things running smoothly and systematically with their eyes constantly scanning their personal environment to check it again and again
When bogged down by stress, Grumpy often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted.
Grumpy values competence, efficiency, and likes to see quick results
Grumpy charges people, knowing what he expect and having no tolerance for those who don't give it to him
Grumpy is self confident and assertive
Grumpy-dwarf people need to know what the standards are for any assignment so that they can meet their expectations

In a Meeting:

Grumpy often disagrees or says, "No"
Grumpy may sit with arms crossed backed away from table
Grumpy looks annoyed, mild sneer, raised eyebrow
Grumpy is negatively critical or judgmental of whatever is being tested as well as other group members' ideas
Grumpy is suspicious and distrustful
Grumpy may be argumentative and hard to control
Grumpy avoids expressing real thoughts and feelings because he is too busy arguing.
Grumpy makes others feel uncomfortable about their opinions
Grumpy overpowers the group

Why are they like that?

Grumpy is afraid of not being liked
Grumpy wants to be seen as a "good boy"
Grumpy desperately needs attention, but afraid to give over control or power of rejection to another person/authority
Grumpy longs to be part of the group but afraid of being engulfed
Grumpy defiantly asserts his independence

How team leaders must manage Grumpy?

1. Create a situation where they will see logical results
2. Grumpy-dwarf people make great leaders of debate teams. Utilize them as a resource to marshal support for a particular argument or sales pitch.
3. Enlist Grumpy's help/give him a task like handing out paper
4. Give praise
5. Restate Grumpy's hostile question or comment and open it to the group
6. Stand to his left
7. If necessary, anchor silence
8. Decrease eye contact

HAPPY

Generally at Work:

Happy always laugh even nothing is really funny
Happy is very likable, warm, and energetic
Happy is supportive to the leader, group members, and task at hand
Happy responds quickly to request from leader to do an exercise or help out
Happy completes any assignments given unbelievably fast
Happy nods affirmatively and expresses positive interest
Happy smiles a lot at everyone, particularly the leader
Happy frequently tries to catch leader's eye, and tries to maintain eye contact with leader
Happy takes seat to the leader's right if it is available
Happy generally agrees with the leader

In a Meeting:

Happy is overly cooperative
Happy likes everything; gives high ratings all the time
Happy says, "Yes, I agree, me, too!"
Happy tries to guess right answer and complies with imagined correct response
Happy is focused on leader vs. materials or others in the room

Why are they like that?

Happy has fear of abandonment
Happy wants to show self as unique
Happy is terrified of rejection same time
Happy is afraid to risk loss of love to assert his ideas

How team leaders must manage Happy?

1. Reconfirm interest in divergent responses - for example: "You can only please me by helping me do my job, which is to ensure that all opinions are expressed. We need the whole picture even if there are some aspects you think might be insignificant."
2. Remind group of the value of the individual
3. Praise difference of opinion
4. Move away from him to give him freedom to disagree
5. Maintain approving eye contact

SLEEPY

Generally at Work:

Sleepy is attracted to motorcycles, airplanes, sky diving, surfing, etc. or anything far from work.
Sleepy do not believe in or follow rules and regulations, as this would prohibit their ability to "do their own thing".
Sleepy is rational and logical
Sleepy uses understanding in a hands on way (making great mechanics or having strong technical skills)
Sleepy values privacy as well as adventure

In a Meeting:

In a meeting sleepy dwarfs may be daydreaming about being out on a motorcycle, in an airplane, skydiving, or surfing. Because they become bored rather quickly their reveries are about these types of escapes.
Sleepy is unresponsive
Sleepy acts bored
Sleepy daydreams
Sleepy stares out the window
Sleepy sits back from the table
Sleepy tries to hide in the middle
Sleepy yawns
Sleepy eyes actually start to close
ZZZZZZZZZ….

Why are they like that?

Sleepy feels isolated
Sleepy is afraid there's no room for his feelings
Sleepy doesn't expect anyone to be interested
Sleepy becomes passively aggressive - sleepy and bored
Sleepy wants to be important and recognized
Sleepy hasn’t got enough sleep.

How team leaders must manage Sleepy

1. Energy circle
2. Stretching
3. Remind sleepy that ‘unconscious behavior’ at work will not help you solve the problem
4. Ask sleepy dwarfs how a new problem-solution design would work in front of all.
5. Try asking questions about lively, sensational activities (skydiving, race car driving, mountain climbing, etc) to gain their attention. When successful it provides MORE energy and enthusiasm to everyone in the group
6. Point out connection between sleepy and other member, "Sleepy, both you and _____________ seem to feel___________"

SNEEZY

Generally at Work:

Sneezy is always sick and want to undergo sick leaves as always however they are organized and methodical
Sneezy has strong sense of duty so follow through on tasks assigned
Sneezy takes pride in his loyalty and faithful dependability
Sneezy is very honest and respect the rules of the group

In a Meeting:

Sneezy sits to the moderator's left
Sneezy might look sick - red nose and eyes, droopy
Sneezy lets group know how bad he feels
Sneezy disrupts by constantly coughing, sneezing, blowing his nose, clearing his throat
Sneezy interrupts with complaints about environment - - too hot, too cold, too drafty
Sneezy says, "Yes but..."
Sneezy is usually absent because he is sick.

Why are they like that?

Sneezy feels powerless
Sneezy cannot get needs met directly
Sneezy is afraid no one cares about him
Sneezy is unable to express anger or disappointment
Sneezy manipulates with illness or problems to be noticed or taken care of

How team leaders must manage Sneezy?

1. Be clear about the rules and guidelines for the group
2. Give rewards for those who don’t use their sick leaves.
3. Since they are great at remembering facts and details, refer back to them about those particular aspects for clarification
4. Avoid asking them about their usual sickness
5. Give them some responsibility in the group
6. Let them be the leader's helper
7. If appropriate, put Sneezy in front and make him review past meetings
8. Let him know that you care about him

Conclusion:
I know we are still a diminutive but fighting people with our little mining stuffs at work. We all want to feel important, to be accepted as unique individuals to be valued and loved as part of the working team. Nevertheless, as we all slowly marching in with heigh ho’s to work everyday, there are still instances that our own imperfections thrive to come out of our closets; decelerating our work habits, affecting our own little selves just because of those individual wayward attitudes of our team mates.

We are indeed different in our own little ways. We have our respective principles and personal perception of how we view life as a whole. And what more in our respective work stations. It is in great way out that to uphold our little selves we tend to seek for our acquaintances, form groups that would be like gaps; divisions to a united seven dwarf –contained team. However let us still work together with our axes, shovels, and other mining stuffs like real professional dwarfs who made it to beat the evil Queen.

We must just continually strive to accept and embrace our differences using our own little beating hearts.

2006-09-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

The Week of Mayhem

This is such week of hectic a mayhem. After 11 long years, a typhoon visits Manila. This typhoon called Milenyo came to be a nightmare for the capital city and much more for me. Flood lined out my entire route to Buendia. There’s power outage that makes my apartment trapped with no water motor to give us enough water to use. And I am totally stuck living in the darkness. I cannot even take my bath. Much worse, it is just so horrible that one of my windows gave up forcing me to use my savior called “trapal” to prevent me from getting cold or anything worse that what my sinusitis is telling me all throughout the day.

I cannot go to work that day.

And it is not just for the reasons that I stated above. It’s just that I do not want to take my life at risk. PAG-ASA might have been leveled-off the typhoon signal in Manila from level 3 to 2 at 4pm but that’s not a good reason for me to pack up myself (without taking a bath because there’s no water) and walk all my way with all the floods in my way to work. Indeed that Makati is such a modern city with all the streetlights, concrete roads and billboards all over. But what more this modern city would do when nature strikes. Streetlights might fall off, tress might be uprooted, concrete roads might be very slippery and worse than all, billboards might end up my life.

At the end of the day, 18 people were ‘reported’ dead in Manila alone, two of which is in Makati:

“In the Makati business district, the steel frame of a billboard fell on a bus, a van and a taxi, killing the van driver and injuring the driver of the taxi, police said.” PDI, Typhoon batters Metro Manila…09/29/06

See how risky it is during that day no matter what I’ll ride on, a bus, a van, or a taxi with those ‘monstrous’ billboards along the way. There were load of ‘em actually along EDSA that I need to pass and I don’t want to catch them all when they fall.

2006-09-22T21:39:00.000+08:00

Sleeping at Work

While I was befriending my computer while at work during night shifts, it is a usual occurrence that I will find myself suddenly struck with a very severe affliction of the 3 to 5 am syndrome of yawning. Much more if you are here seated in this all too remote humdrum, solemn, and floating place we call call center. You’ll definitely feel your eye ‘balls’ drop bouncing a couple of times until you realize you have erroneously done something to your customer's account. And this yawn syndrome” seems to be spreading like an epidemic infecting all of us in just a split of time.

Mapping out the syndrome or should I say, this yawn epidemic before me, I knew something had to be done. Or do you have any reserve energy left to do anything when you’re down like a rotten vegetable in front of your computer. Your competency drops, your concentration weakens, and your eyes will be heavier that you ever felt before. The free coffee at the pantry just gave up on you to give the waking energy. Your world became silent. You became slow and weak. You now have to press ctrl+alt+del and stop working. Your productivity slope drops instantly. You lost the war. You are sleepy. That’s while company's clock is still running.

So, you would absolutely just take a nap. Or later, you will then extend for a couple of minutes of stealing more naps which will turn out to be a nice goodnight long sleep.
Alright. So that’s just the way it is – you are still on the clock sleeping in a nice dark unnoticeable spot, under the cubicles perhaps just beside the toes of your closest team mate. You will then think that this is such an innovative way of having an adequate napping/sleeping spot within the premises of the call center area with no one to realize someone is napping in the grassy warm carpeted floor. Hidden behind that ideal nest, in a dark spot, the location exhibits a soft bed-time experience plus an advantage if you specifically position a working toe at you back - which is an excellent medium to receive alarming kicks for any approaching team leader.

Then suddenly, someone just kicked your back.

Yes. The team leader is coming. And then you tend to wake up briefly quite unaware what is happening with your red teary eyes blocking your view of what is really happening outside until your closest ‘toe friend’ told you that the team leader is looking all over for you. Now you are completely in great trouble.

In the very near end. You arrived at your working spot again; quite comfortable. Your productivity slope goes back in its increasing rate. You are refreshed. You would think that you survive the war after all. Or have you?

I would like to share a reading from a business consultant named “Mistersix” from Contact News Magazine. He pointed out the term “Sacred Responsibility”. It is defined in the article as “a truthful, religious, and unselfish deed quite indistinguishable far more than as a point of personal instinct of doing the right thing even when nobody’s looking.” This is quite a conceptual definition though that it is somehow difficult to apply in a real time scenario where we know that some company don’t have any necessary tracking devise if some point in its time you get out of the premise and spend some time someplace that we would rather not be, and that is to sleep while on duty. And if you are flying high to the clouds while asleep when everyone else is working, you are actually falling outside the criteria of Mistersix’ definition.

I want you guys to read on the exact words of Mistersix in the article and reflect on it completely. He states:

“Work time is not nap time--no matter how you cut it or rationalizes or even argues that you have already done your job, it is still an inappropriate behavior in the work place; a disservice to the employees who are focused on work and it is likewise will be a muddy dirt for a company’s image in the long run…”

“With sleeping while on duty, you are actually stealing your company’s financial compensation budget. I am not talking about the spontaneous naps we have during breaks because they are not paid for but only those silent thieves who sleeps at work then stating that he already have done so much already for its entire shift already. I have no idea what’s his responsibilities are, and I don’t care what are those even though he made it to finish his work faster than anybody else or made it to the topmost list of fastest track and field athletes in Olympics. Why do I care? He’s outside the criteria of sacred responsibility. At the head on the onion, you are being selfish for not offering your hand to your other team mates, and worse, from a strictly ethical point of view sleeping while being paid is stealing.”

Ok. So what is work then in the first place?

Work is simply a productive play of sacred responsibility and it should be personally and financially rewarding, validating and, if your lucky (and perhaps diligent) being part of something greater than yourself treating it as your most valuable property - an asset that needs to be develop.

And any company don’t want to work with a dull, idle, and sleeping/stealing property.

2006-09-15T23:28:00.000+08:00

Professionalism

I’d like to share an article from an old business magazine I just read entitled “Being a Professional Being @ Work”. This is written by L. Ron Hubbard. What strikes me most in the article is his thorough and eye-opening definition of Professionalism. We might be thinking that it is just a plain serious way of how we should Team Leaders, clients, and office mates in general like how those busy well dressed people in the higher end corporate world face each other. Well, according to Hubbard, it is not just like that. According to him, it is how we act at work that determines whether you are a professional or not.

It is rather a sad fate for us not to understand the real nature of professionalism. It is true because according to Hubbard our society in itself does not emphasize its importance.
Maybe that’s the reason why people tend to be stocked and satisfied that to believe that being a less professional person at work or Hubbard named as “being an Amateur” is normal and will still be accepted by all as to how our society had built us. We tend to hate people who says “trabaho lang walang personalan” or despise for having such an attitude. Or worse we tend to personally say that he is O.A. or ‘feeling boss’ when we hear them talk about work in a very serious way. Many employees just then accept less-than-good results. I mean, they don’t make their own special way to innovate and improve their usual outputs. And many more amateurish scenario anywhere and anyhow. For instance, some schools let their students graduate even though they knew they still don’t know how to read; there are still evident corruption in our government funds, powerful accused senators and other officials don’t appear in court hearings; a plenty of government employees still sleeps during office hours; there are still fraudulent elections; and some others that may not fit this page. And what society does? Society tends to balance the off-putting result of these scenarios in a way to give more or less out of the worse results.

Are we getting to our goals with their dumb amateurs games @ work?

According to Hubbard, at the time that there are amateur players at work we are actually losing out a way of a better result. We are delaying progress. We are preventing ourselves to improve. We are being selfish. Moreover, those amateurs have a so-called a “Just getting by” attitude to face the world. Bahala na. We are satisfied by how the world is created. We tend to gamble and leave things as it is like joining in with the flow.

Well, what exactly are Hubbard’s differences of being a professional from being an amateur?

A professional learns every aspect of the tasks. An amateur skips the learning process whenever possible

A professional carefully discovers what is needed and wanted for the team. An amateur assumes what he needs and wants.

A professional keeps his or her work area clean and orderly. An amateur has a messy, confused or dirty work area.

A professional is focused and clear-headed. An amateur is confused and distracted.

A professional does not let mistakes slide by. An amateur ignores or hides mistakes.

A professional jumps into difficult assignments, of a more challenging task. An amateur tries to get out of difficult work.

A professional completes projects as soon as possible. An amateur is surrounded by a lot of back logs.

A professional remains level-headed and optimistic. An amateur gets upset and assumes the worst.

A professional handles money and accounts very carefully. An amateur is sloppy with money or accounts.

A professional faces up to other people's upsets and problems. An amateur avoids others' problems.

A professional uses higher emotional tones: Enthusiasm, cheerfulness, interest, contentment. An amateur uses lower emotional tones: anger, hostility, resentment, fear, and victim.

A professional is focused and purposeful. An amateur is scattered and confused.

A professional persists until the objective is achieved. An amateur gives up.

A professional produces more than expected. An amateur produces just enough to get by.

A professional produces a high-quality product or service. An amateur produces medium-to-low quality product or service.

A professional earns the same pay with an amateur and he is happy with it. An amateur thinks he earns low pay and feels it's unfair.

A professional is okay when his salary is deducted with taxes. An amateur thinks a way how to avoid them.

A professional has a promising future. An amateur has an uncertain future.

A professional faces his office mates with respect. An amateur don’t care criticizing them.

I hope all of us will embrace professionalism. Amen.

2006-08-04T21:19:00.000+08:00

What’s in a name? You know I used to think that a former employee of a bookstore wouldn’t likely ring a bell here or in any place especially where all of the best people in town are collected and trained. Well, now I realized that what I believe before was wrong. I now know a miracle of how to burst out his potentials by connecting the name “X” to another known company (that I cannot tell you what).

Moving In. I was hired last June 19, 2006 (the 145th birthday of Rizal!) amidst those brain draining qualifying exams and those intimidating job interviews that I swear I never expected to pass. It’s just that maybe I lack confidence that time or perhaps I don’t believe much of my capacity to be competitive. Maybe the Gods are with me so I passed everything. So I am now confident enough to say that I am one of the best people; the chosen few who rose up in the middle of a jobless crowd.

WORK. My progress at work was greeted by loads of information far from what I know as a former marketing assistant. I realized that I moved in to a very confidential job. Hearing the word confidential in itself is really appealing to my senses because it gives me the feeling of a person working in CIA or one of the agents working for Sherlock Holmes. Sounds great isn’t it?

The word ‘business process outsourcing’ on the other hand was then defined to us more clearly as a business hiring people outside of their country for cheaper labor costs. That’s why we are actually working for a client from miles away via remote connections to analyze and solve their loads of business problems. This is totally different with the call center industry although they might be also called as BPO people. Well, my job is much special than them. We fixed errors. We help the companies with their business. We help the customers.

The thought of helping customers is really challenging in my part because learning the entire process is totally difficult. It is not just learning Calculus but I knew it is more than that. As all of us newbies actually, was totally overwhelmed with loads of information to master. But then, it’s a good thing that we manage to survive all of it.

Learning behind all the process that is really difficult to digest at the start of the training I realized that it is such a very exciting job after all. And this is what really makes me a happy employee. Intellectual skills include my ability to think quickly on my feet, research and evaluate information, reason, and thinking “outside the box.” With these skills obviously evident in my actual work here makes me really happy. It structures a better me.

A Closing Entry. Making errors is normal. It is with these errors that I learn something. I know there are still loads of errors that I might commit in the following weeks but then I still need to move on. As what a famous celebrity said: “I still will move on to fail my way to success.”

Lastly, I would like to share a poem that I saw hanging within the walls of my former office. I am always feeling good when I am reading it. I wish that the poem will also be posted in our working place in the future.

LOVE YOUR WORK

If you don’t like your work
You’ll need three times the energy
To force yourself to work
To resist the force,
And finally to work

If you love your work
Your desire to do it will be like a wind
To propel you ship
With much less fuel

If you like your work
You work no more
For work, when you like it
Is work no longer
But sheer enjoyment

If you enjoy your work
You’ll work and work
Without counting the hours
And you’ll reap and yours
More earnings as well.

2006-07-27T09:28:00.000+08:00

Rain

Here comes again
Those raindrops
From the outside
Of my window
It is this same rainy
Morning that she
Gave me that
Quick last kiss
Her conclusion
To our bind
That never ties

When will I ever
See her again like
Those raindrops
From the outside
Splashing freely from
My open window?

2006-07-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

Quickie

Naglalaro ang
Mga kamay sa
Madilim na kawalan
Na walang
Matang makakatanglaw
Tanging makintab na sahig
Mga paa ng mga silya
At mga nangagsisipaggapang
Na mga langgam
Na abalang
Nag-iimpok ng
Malansang likidong
Biyaya mula sa taas
Sa isang lamesang
Naabot ay langit

2006-07-25T12:00:00.000+08:00

It rained.

I harvested
My wet clothes
Inside my room.

How cruel
The world is
Keeping me away
From the rays
Of the sun
The same way
It keeps her
Away from me.

It's raining harder
In my mind.

2006-07-22T19:03:00.000+08:00

I don't want to eat
or don't eat at all
but wait I'll starve
I'll starve to death
the death like my grandpa
which i never noticed
in that very same night of August
wen I'm wide awake in my room
in my dreams of trophies and medals
A sad past of him that
I couldn't clearly recall
Just his strong and hard stick
which always hit me
everyday when he sees me
until i became what i am today
without his strong and hard stick
But still in my mind
A torture.

2006-07-10T18:30:00.000+08:00

Remembering the Trojan Horse

Troy remained unconquered for years.

The city that exhibits undoubtedly strong information security chain with its surrounding concrete walls, numerous booby traps on the grounds, thousands of armored warriors, and tight security at the entrance, is quite impressive. But not until the Trojans came along to the scene with their Trojan Horse. The humble statue that made even the most secured information security chain down.

Information Security

No one could tell all the possibilities of an intrusion to a certain information security system. Nor can anyone predict and eradicate all risks from unauthorized use of a company’s confidential information no matter how it is well established, highly equipped with advanced technology, or even being a top organization in the world.

Indeed. The possibilities of intrusion are endless. It keeps on coming to destroy. It is because Information Security System is not necessarily watertight, foolproof nor perfectable. It is an imperfect form but effective part of risk management. It is in the system that we try to avoid loss of confidentiality to a company/client’s documents that may be used to attack and destroy a company’s reputation to result financial loss, degradation, and closure.

The Entrance to Troy

We are always in the notion that computer systems either it is password protected or anti-hacking enabled make us safe from intrusion. That is not totally enough. It is important to note that Information Security is everyone’s responsibility. This includes from the top-line to the down-line list of employees no matter how low or how high your salaries are. The involvement requires us to facilitate and cooperate with the rules being implemented and report any means of actions that we saw or about to see in the future.

To have a secured entrance to Troy, employers must also exhibit the ‘trust’ aspect of information to its employees. The company’s level of trust to its employees to have integrity and stewardship in all the things that he is doing is dependent on the way they will educate them for such issue. They must be familiar with the rules and the jurisprudence in general. Moreover, employees must be know what are the things expected for them like not to share passwords, pass confidential information from unauthorized person, etc and know all possible disciplinary actions.

The Weakest Link: The Trojan’s Target

It is always such a laugh for a company leaving all its information security measures to its password protections, advanced computer systems, and other computer protection softwares. Yes. These tools are more or less effective but disregarding its employees and clients as the ones who are also responsible for protecting those confidential information, the company will only provide a false sense of security. This is a misconception that most companies do by taking Information Security not as a system but as a technology.

Let me take you back to the City of Troy.

The city (a company) has over thousands of warriors (employees). It has a well-protected territory. It has surrounding walls, and other security tools that they believe would prevent unauthorized intrusion. It also emphasizes more on putting more anti-intrusion traps and tools surrounding the city (has tight and secured information security technology not system).

A clever lad (a hacker) studies the situation and asked: how could I get in this land?

The clever lad knew that going to the walls and any forced intrusion by himself through its entrance would take him time which was not willingly to spare. The clever lad used some of his friends living in the city (lack of integrity of employees). He then realized that the people of Troy were the weakest link.

He led his men to make a giant hollow wooden horse and filled it with his warriors. Near the territory of Troy, they left the horse. A spy convinced the Trojans that the horse was a gift despite the warnings of other people. The people of Troy accepted the horse being a sacred animal of Poseidon in the myths.

It was a celebration for the Trojans that the warriors hidden from the horse emerged when the city was in a drunken stupor. Once inside, they opened the city gates to allow the rest of the army to enter, and the city was pillaged ruthlessly —all the men were killed, and all the women and children were taken into slavery.

Why was the attack successful?

If we do always depend on our computer systems we could possibly miss the fact that information security system goes beyond the use of any type of computer technology or in the case of Troy, in their tools. We must be aware that people is always the weakest and strongest asset depending on how they are educated or how they could participate in our information security system.

Firewalls and other computer tools are effective but it is not a good idea to include it in the system as a priority for its formulation. It only exhibits a security for the computers but not the totality of security for the real organization. Therefore it is of great importance to elevate more from software and hardwares to employee education schemes in any Information Security Policy.

This should be the actual system for any organization to be prevented from any possible intrusions that would result to company’s closure and distruction like the City of Troy. And we don’t want that to happen to us in the future.

2006-07-07T11:59:00.000+08:00

Bakit Ako Sumusulat ng mga Tula?

Lagi akong
Sumusulat ng tula
Lalo na kung mag-isa
Ako sa kwarto
Andami ko kasing iniisip
Bumabaha ang
Ang kwarto kahit
Wala namang tubig
Lalangoy ako
Sa mga salita
Lulunukin kung ano
Man ang umagos.
Lulunok.
Hihinga.
Susulat.
Lulunok.
Hihinga.
Susulat.
Upang ako'y 'di malunod
Upang ako'y mabuhay.

2006-07-05T09:55:00.000+08:00

I am getting addicted to the internet lately. And I am ignoring how much I am spending everyday while I am sitting on the humble internet cafe near my boarding house. Once I sit on the commercial public PC, I conquer my time. I don't even care for time actually. I don't even also care about those people around me logging in and out from their respective chairs while I am still busy researching for any relevant information to be added in my brain cells and chatting to my closest friends.

Indeed it is now becoming my world.

You know after my 1030pm to 630am shift I usually wait for the shop to open and when it does my cyber world commence. My nerves feel it too as if wanting some nourishment from the electronic mails, chats from msn messenger, and updates from my closest friends. And I get excited when I received those. I read their mails and messages a couple of times and print it along with all my other hard copy files in my room for future reading. This is to boost my emotional health to a higher level especially when I am alone.

And I am afraid to be alone.

Re-reading those materials makes me feel otherwise; lifting me and make me feel that in some place not so far away there are still some people who are still interested in conversing with the empoverish and humble person such as me. Those materials protected me from doing harsh acts; maybe commiting suicide or perhaps killing myself of inhaling too much cigarette smoking. They are my protectors and one of my topmost security for personal development and to mark a happy face somehow. That's why it is my great purpose to add more of those documents in my drawer. Lots of those that would update how many good thoughts I had when interacting with those guys and gals that I call friends.

The thing I didn't have here in Manila.

2006-07-03T11:53:00.000+08:00

Abortion

5 am
Before school
I should sharpen up
My pencil touching it
With a soft grip
Gently squeezing
It at a constant friction
Until it reached a point
That is enough
To bring sweat
More than the sweat
Of my usual
Jolens and text games
Or sipa and patintero
It is a quick relief
To burst out
A drop of joy
To trim down
That poisonous lead
Memory Teacher John
Planted in
My mind.

2006-06-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

And so we danced

In the soft stage

With laces and ribbons

We conquered

That small space

Dancing the rumba

Horizontally

2006-06-19T13:57:00.000+08:00

I resigned.

The sad there was... uhm let me think. Oh well, there's nothing sad for it afterall! Haha! No more force overtimes and restless days. No more adapting to the 'brats' in the office that I don't really know how to mingle with their restless actions. No more hassles in the Taft Avenue traffic jam. Plus no more break-even lifestyle (the state of being nearly poor!). All those stuffs makes my resigning event a very happy and fulfilling one.

Got a new job right now but sad to say I cannot share more about it for confidentiality reasons. All I can say is that, I am now relieved and satisfied with my current job and I am sure I will stay and grow in this new company I am now calling home.

Haha!

2006-05-05T21:54:00.000+08:00

I celebrated my birthday with a bang. BANG! Ouch! I almost die about how humongous my spendings are! Starting from my morning routine of buying pandesal (12 pieces x 1.25 each = Php. 15) for breakfast and the morning paper (PDI-Php.18) my cousin and I pack up to the Libertad market. We rode the usual public utility jeepney (7.5per head x 2 = Php. 15) to our destination. Ok. So we are at the middle of the trade of all the raw goods I am planning to serve on my birthday. We started to buy 2 dressed whole chicken for the chicken marinade (Php. 260). We then move on to the beef section. It's totally a very hard decision if we are going to buy ground beef for the Spaghetti of just a plain corned beef instead. I realized that it would be better to buy ground beef due to my animalistic instinct that the taste of the sauce might suffer. So ok, we bought 1/2 kilo of beef (Php. 85) and asked the vendor to grind it for us with no extra charge. We then bought onions of about 1/2 kilo (Php. 22.5) and a sachet of pepper (Php. 5). My cousin said that I might be considering to add additional menu for my birthday like buying extra beef for a beefsteak. Hmm, the sound of the menu made me realize it would be a nice idea but how many kilo of beef do we have to buy? 1/2? 1 kilo? Well, again we toured the beef section passing the old lady stall where we bought 1/2 kilo of beef until we suddenly stop at a nearby stall where we see the existence of a red and fresh beef. We asked the vendor in charge.

my cousin: "Magkano kilo ng baka?"
vendor: " 220 na lang sa inyo!"
my cousin (shocked): "Ha? Ang mahal!"
vendor: "200 na lang ayaw niyo pa rin?"

We leave the place laughing and discussing how high the price of the beef the vendor is offering until we had found a stall selling beef for only Php. 160 per kilo. We got the beef sliced as a steak in no time. We saved about 4o pesos.

We also bought a pack of salt for 5 pesos and a plastic juice container for Php. 150 on which we negotiated for a bargain from a price of Php. 220. well, I still feel that the regular price is lower than what we really be expecting.

Next stop, is my haircut. I have to go to the cheapest barber shop within the market in order for me to save lots of money. Within the insides of the wet market, I shell out Php. 25 for a barber's cut.

Same goes again with the process, We rode a jeepney all the way to Fahrenheit (THE MAY DAY BIRTHDAY VENUE). This is just to leave all our wet market purchases and make necessary initial preparations of all the menu. Of course, the chicken should be well cleaned and the other ingredients should be well set.
We walked our way to the nearest grocery store in our place which is the "Cash and Carry'. The store actually has an image of being "high prices" but still I have no choice whatsoever because I have no time to find any cheaper stores. Alright, here are my shopping purchases:

1 kilo Beefies Hotdog -114
1 kilo Spaghetti Sauce -109.7
1 Fuji Apple -23.1
Reno Liverspread @ 2 -25
Axion Lemon -24.95
1 Orange Fruit -22.35
Sprite 1.5 Liters -31
1 kilo Tomato Sauce -56.4
Bread Crumbs -26.25
Pineapple Orange in Can -84.9
Loaf Bread @ 2 -52.2
Olsen Loaf -35
1 kilo Spaghetti -53.1
Pineapple Sliced -50.2
UFC Catsup -21.8
Chicken Marinade -42.5
Minola Cooking Oil 500ml -32.7
Eden Cheese 500g -72.9

It's a very difficult part for me shelling out money in that grocery store that we really spent our time comparing prices. Some goods are actually priced lower but then with lesser weight! That's a nice strategy alright but we cannot be fooled. I bought also one Gilbey's Gin for my Punch. After the extreme shopping experience we hailed a sikad (Php.15)and I let my cousin to ride her way together with the goods to Fahrenheit while I walk my way back to my boarding house to take my bath and fix up for the coming birthday bash. I grabbed my new set of clothes: a green shirt and a humble pair of jeans.

It's really hot and I don't even think of walking along with the heat so I rode a jeepney instead (Php.7.5). Arriving at Fahrenheit I bought 5 gallons of water (Php.40), 2 packs of ice cubes (Php.20), 2 Eggs (Php.8), Film (Php.79) and 2 Batteries (Php.40).

ALL IN ALL I SPENT 1, 969.55 PESOS.

But to sum it all and ignoring my worries regarding how my wallet got so thin after the 'MAY DAY' I really had a very wonderful time. I am in fact happy that I experienced celebrating my birthday with my closest relatives for the first time. You know, I already been celebrating my birthday way back in the province but it's just so simple as having a menu of pasta and drinks just enough for the whole household. Even though I would want to invite guests, I still couldn't for they are miles away from our house or perhaps I don't have any close friend after all. It really sounds dramatic but it is true. And please don't think that I am again beginning to pity myself for such a situation because I don't even think about it. Let's just say that during those harsh time nobody wants to join me in celebrating my birthday except my family.

How happy I was during this day I call "May Day". Indeed I am happy. That's what money can't buy.

2006-04-05T17:59:00.000+08:00

“A hero is the fruit, soul, and love of a country. A country without a hero is like a tree without any fruit, a body without life and a heart without love “ "Un héroe es la fruta, el alma, y el amor de un país. Un país sin un héroe está como un árbol sin cualquier fruta, un cuerpo sin la vida y un corazón sin el amor" – JOSE P. RIZAL

I first heard about Rizal when I was just Grade 1. That was the time that I didn’t knew anything about him or even knowing that he is the greatest Malay ever born. All I knew, Rizal was the pambansang bayani with pambansang ibon, pambansang punongkahoy, pambansang bulaklak, pambansang hayop and other pambansang stuffs teacher usually taught us.

In other words Rizal serve as just one of my required data to be memorized because my teacher might hit me with her chalk or worse forced me again to stand by the blackboard all day long if a failed to answer her so called recitation. It was indeed a silly experience that a fellow like me was being treated like that. There was also a time when my teacher got mad at me due to very serious offense and threw an eraser right at my head. That would be the usual thing that might happen to me when I would say that her lessons are boring and doesn’t make sense. Even the deepest times of our Grade one lesson, I really cannot visualize Jose Rizal as our national hero. His picture was beside the sampaguita and the maya. That’s all I can remember. In fact, what’s the sense of knowing Rizal as our pambansang bayani, maya as our pambansang ibon, narra as our pambansang punongkahoy, kalabaw as our pambansang hayop and sampaguita as our pambansang bulaklak. Will I be able to play more at the park?

My travel experiences with my Mom during our visit to my Lola in Manila just before I graduated elementary, gave me a chance to visit the neighbors of maya and sampaguita. The pambansang bayani was at the monument and mysteriously being guarded by immovable guards. The simple existence of those immovable guards at the monument amaze me and realize how this pambansang bayani is more than maya and sampaguita.

The monument likewise served as my opening sight of how Rizal died because of a serious crime on which my mother said “due to his love of our country.” My heart leap a bit when I knew he just didn’t die but rather killed by gunshots – a thrill that made me remember my favorite action films I used to watch. But then when thinking about the old book, I wondered what the kalabaw, maya, and sampaguita did to make it our national celebrities.

FRUIT. When I stepped high school, my mind as expected broaden some more knowledge of Sciences, Mathematics, Music, Economics, English, and History. It is not a single doubt that I excel in most of our subjects except in History. My teachers usually gave me just an average score for not memorizing the years and inputs from the required text of reference.

Amidst my weakness in History, I met another two books of Rizal – the Noli and the Fili that served as a requirement in our History lesson. This is the time I knew more about our national hero. He was such a genius and I named him as “ekselente!” in most of our group studies. Honestly speaking, I was indeed touched by the books. It brought me numerous flashback memories and insights about my grade school teachers who in most of my readings resembles to the personality of the wicked teacher of the novel.

Through those books, I likewise imagined how Rizal changed my life as a person and opened my mind on what principles in life and education should be. Indeed that our hero serves a fruit right intended for the proper methods of teaching, to bring human right awareness and right for education.

His famous saying that “The youth is the hope of our fatherland,” stored in my memory not just a part of my quotation collection but also a part of my life of realizing my importance as a person who pays tax in our society. I then quit on thinking that I am useless. I knew that I could make a difference and contribute even in my most simple ways. Even my boss said that even just paying taxes and following the law would be relevant enough for the country. Indeed that the country needs me and the country needs me too. I am not just a mere player of the country but a hope for the society.

SOUL. The UP education gently brought me to a higher pitch of learning the man behind the Noli and the Fili. Aside from knowing again that he was “ekselente!.” I realize that for the past years of reading his brilliant works and writings, I neglected the fact that he is still like a normal person that commits mistakes, fails, and acts like the way I do. He has emotions and also cries. That made me to know that we are similar in some extent. The only one that differs is our intellectual capacity.

In my personal realization, because of Rizal, I had touch a part of my brain to prejudge a person for doing a wrong thing. Rizal was a gambler in his days and a “chick boy” material although those points were still debatable nowadays but those points were not a mere reason to make him a lesser person and not capable of being a hero.

The real personality of the person is not by his behavior but by his soul – the one that our national hero possesses. He has a soul for our country that continuously floats into the air that he slowly let it to be offered as part of our country’s life. It is not about the wines, the tobaccos, the women, the looks, and the behavior. What matters is the way a person floats for his principle and not for others. Standing in my own belief would be the greatest lesson Rizal had taught me. The lesson is about voicing out my concerns if I knew I was left out or maltreated in any situations. Ignorance to reality is the way I always avoid. Making myself informed and familiar with my environment is the way I used to do now. As a journalist and as former member of a campus paper, I ensure that my floating soul would be of work to let people well informed and proactive rather than reactive in various issues concerning our country. I really made a legacy to make me a way for the general public to visualize where they are and what are the things happening in their location that may affect them.

LOVE. Indeed that my history is full of Rizal-inspired stories that made me realize how Rizal shaped my life as a responsible citizen of this country. But how my life shaped won’t be like this is also due to those similar stories of my kababayans that also became part of my life being a Filipino citizen. They also possess fruit, soul, and love ingredients of being a hero. I am inspired. They were also inspired. There are these government employees that continue to be of service to the people. There are those industrial workers of the city to give us the food we eat and survive. There are those utility workers who keep the city or barangay clean amidst the rain or excessive heat of the sun. There are those vendors in the market who serves the people all day with fresh fish and vegetables. There are those teachers and professors who guide their students and let them gain knowledge. There are those parents who continuously develop their children's minds for the future. And lastly, there are those like me who work at a certain bookstore to pay taxes every 15th and 30th of the month, and writing stuffs in this blog who is just like Rizal, a hero.

2006-03-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

Somalia

Mula sa tigang
Na buhanging pinapangingas
Ni haring araw,
Nangagbulagta ang
Mga murang sikmurang
Pinagdamutan ng
Tinapay at tubig.

Bakit pa nga naman
Sila maglalaro
Ng taguan o trumpo,
Eh katumbas naman
Ito ng lakas
Ng kwarentang
Mga tulo ng tubig
Mula sa mga gripo
Ng mga edukada't edukado
Ng Aprika?

Tama ngang kumurap
Na lang sila ng kumurap
Na katumbas lamang
Ng lakas ng
Isang masarap
Na pinatuyong dilis
Kaysa gumastos
Pa ng iilang lakas
Na katumbas ng
Sobra pa
Sa kwarentang
Mga tulo ng tubig
Sa pagpagpag ng mga
Nangagpiyestang mga langaw
Sa mga galis nilang
Nananatiling basa
Sa kabuuan ng
Maladisyertong Somalia.

2006-03-17T21:41:00.000+08:00

I'm confused. What really is the work of a true marketing assistant?

I used to think that I am not really performing to the best of what I am capable of doing. You know, I've been a marketing assistant of central books for 6 months already and I seem to be ignorant with the real-time concept of the field of marketing. Or am I really in the field of marketing? Take for example my recent job as a jack-of-all-trades multi-tasking highly skilled sales/administration employee in Glorietta and main branch in Quezon City. My job description is totally fully general in its sense that I often end up idle in a spot waiting for customers in Glorietta or trying to search for anything to do in Quezon City (just to tell the hidden cameras that I am such a hard working freak). I do act as a sales staff and converse a bit to tell tales to customers about how our books are clearly printed and perfectly binded aside from flooding them with different sets of brochures and offers. I do also computer reports and other typing jobs since (sad to say) my co-employees had limited knowledge for such technology. Alright. Marketing might also mean handling sales and doing the verbal flowering conversation with different sorts of people, but where can I go aside from that? I thought of a marketing assistant as formulating strategies and working with a team of marketers to boost sales and increase the image of the company. BUT and another BUT I know that what I wanted to happen is not applicable in my company. Why? It is simply because there ARE only 2 marketing employees existing and it is me and my boss.

Yup.

So you might as well digest my point. Is being a jack-of-all trades person equates to being a marketing assistant?

Maybe I am not supposed to be called as a marketing assistant but a mere assistant of the assistant. It is just that I am called as a marketing assistant for the sense that I am under the marketing manager which I do assists giving leaflets to law schools, marketing our publish on demand, editing marketing articles and manning book fairs and exhibits.

Wait.

Let me think.

[hypothalamus] ----- [thalamus]

Ok.

I cannot think for more. It's just that I want to be a script writer instead.

2006-03-12T14:28:00.000+08:00

I'd like to share a court proceeding scenario of a rape case from the Supreme Court Reports Annotated Volume 469 or 469 SCRA 658-662.. The rape victim is a 12 years old girl and the accused is her own father. The child is said to be first raped when she was only 10 years old. I felt so bad while reading such article and realized that it is really happening (since I only see it in the movies).

(The victim by the way is only 12 years old when she narrated to the court the violations of her person.)

For rape committed in September 1993:

Q: "When was the first time that he committed sexual assault upon you?"

A: "September 1993."

COURT: "No specific date?"

A: "I cannot remember, Ma'am."

Q: "Can you remember how old are you at that time?"

A: "10 years old, Ma'am."

...

Q: "So, after he removed your T-shirt, bra and panties and shorts, what happened next, if anything happened?

A: "He asked me to lie face down. Pinadapa po niya ako."

Q: "After he asked you to lie face down. what happened next?"

...

(The witness is crying.)

A: "He inserted in my anus --- ipinasok niya ang titi niya sa puwet ko."
...

Q: "Did you tell anybody about what happened to you?"

A: "No, Ma'am."

Q: "Why not?"

A: "Because I was afraid of my father."

Q: "Why are you afraid of your father?"

A: "Because he might hurt me."

Q: "After that incident in September 1993, do you recall any other incident that occurred?"

A: "There is, Ma'am."

Q: "When was it?"

A: "After a few days after the first incident."

...

Q: "After he entered your room, what happened next?"

A: "He laid beside me and he removed my clothes."

...

Q: "What did your father do with the clothes he was wearing?"

A: "He removed his clothes"

Q: "After removing his clothes, what happened next, if any?"

A: "We were lying in my bed and he asked me to lie on my side -- pinatagilid niya ako."

Q: "After he asked you to lie down on your side, what happened next, if any?"

A: "He asked me to raise my right leg and placed it on his side because he was then lying on his side."

...

Q: "After he asked you to place your right thigh over his left thigh, what happened next, if any?"

A: "He inserted his penis into my organ.

For rape committed on December 29, 1995:

Q: "On December 29, 1995, do you remember of any unusual incident that happened?

A: "There was, Ma'am."

Q: "What is that incident?"

A: "I was raped by my father on that day."

Q: "Where were on that day when you said he raped you?"

A: "I was then at the kitchen of our house."

...

Q: "What were you doing at the kitchen at that time?"

A: "I was then sitting at our dining set."

Q: "What about your father, what is he doing?"

A: "He was cooking."

Q: "What happened while sitting at the dining set, if any?"

A: "He told me to approach him."

...

Q: "After you approached him, what happened next?"

A: "I was leaning then at the kitchen sink and he asked me to embrace him."

...

Q: "What happened after you embraced him?"

A: "After that, he raised my T-shirt."

Q: "After raising your T-shirt, what happened next?"

A: "He held my breast."

...

Q: "After that, what happened next?"

A: "He kept kissing my breast."

Q: "How many times did he kiss your breast?"

A: "Many times."

...

Q: "What happened next after he kissed your breast?

A: "He put my shorts down."

Q: "After putting your shorts down, what happened next, if any?"

A: "He also put down my panties."

Q: "After putting down your panties, what happened next, if any?"

A: "He held my organ."

...

Lawyer 2: "At this juncture, Your Honor, may we request witness to be more specific with respect to organ."

Q: "When you say 'organ', what do you mean?"

A: "Pekpek."

COURT: "Proceed."

A: "After he held my vagina, he also put down his shorts and briefs."

Q: "After putting down his shorts and briefs, what happened next?"

A: "He inserted his penis to my vagina."

For attempted rape committed on January 1, 1996:

Q: "Do you recall of any incident that happened on January 1, 1996 3:00 to 4:00 PM?"

A: "We were in our sala on the sofa."

Q: "When you say 'we', who are those you are referring to?

A: "Me and my father."

...

Q: "While you and your father were in the living room and on the sofa, what happened?"

A: "While we were on the sofa, my father was then raising my T-shirt and kissing my breast."

Q: "What were you wearing at that time?"

A: "Shorts, T-shirt, bra and panties."

Q: "What did your father do with your shorts, T-shirt and bra?"

A: "He raised them."

Q: "How about your father, how was he dressed at that time?"

A: "Shorts and T-shirt.

Q: "After raising your bra and T-shirt, what happened next?"

A: "While he was kissing my breast, we were already lying on the sofa, then he went on top of me."

Q: "After he went on top of you, what happened next, if any?"

A: "He was forcing to insert his penis while we were still wearing shorts."

Q: "So, you mean to say, you were still wearing shorts at that time?

A: "Yes, Ma'am."

Q: "What happened next when he was forcing to push his penis to your vagina?"

A: "It did not push through because my mother suddenly arrived."

....

Ok. It been a very long trial though and what happened at the end was sentencing his father reclusion perpetua and DEATH.

2006-03-08T10:17:00.000+08:00

Right now I have a blocked mind. I am having the feeling of nothingness like a trying hard dumb writer that thoroughly stares on a white plain blank page. That's exactly what I am feeling right now; I don't know how to think properly, I don't know how to digest the contents of any book that I could grab; I don't know how to react in any comments of a customer, and it is just that I don't know what I am doing or suppose to do.

I likewise cannot think of anything worth thinking. In other words, my mind is no longer cooperative that something might have been transforming my brain to be so dumb frozen. Every time I thought of something, I immediately wrestle to another image that is so broad and completely senseless. For instance, while I am busy waiting for customers to come (which normally took for ages and years), I usually imagine a dog that meows and a cat that barks behind the shelves; when an old woman is walking to the store (just passing by but not my customer I am sure), I imagine her to have 13 penises and one vagina; when a man passes by, I imagine him in ice skating shoes while in an asphalted road; or in my deepest sense of idleness when my spirit moves out of my physical body, I could imagine a guy who is forcing himself to write something by the computer with a bleeding nose for his mind cannot cooperate. Well these are the things that keeps on blocking my mind and prevents me from thinking more sensible. I think I am getting to be like a jerk.

Wait.

I am not a jerk shit. It's just I don't really know what to say. I don't have any idea to share in this space.

[space]

What would the reason be? Maybe there is just something I must be thinking and that something I am thinking is something I used to think when I am thinking of something.

Great.

I hope I am making sense here.

2006-03-04T12:15:00.000+08:00

Trapik

Dahil po sa mga berdeng
Papel na mas berde pa
Sa mga tinda naming
Mga lantang gulay,
Ibinalot ako
Ng nanay sa kahon
Papuntang Disneyland.

Biruin nyo po,
Isang linggong mahigit lang
Ng bahay-bahayan sa loob
Ng kahong pumapaypay
Ang init at sikip
Sa mga murang sikmurang
Walang laman kundi hangin,
Kinalabit na kami
Ng Disneyland?
(Ay Disneyland na pala?)
Yehey Disneyland!

Syet.

Dito po pala sa Disneyland
Nangagpila ang mga momo!
Nakahubad si Miki Maws,
Namimilit si Donald Dak,
Nanghihipo si Papay,
At manyak ang mga Seben Dwarps.
Nakakatakot po pati
Ang mga laway
Nila Gopey at Pluto
Na bumabaha sa kama
Ko't kumakalawang
Sa mga kadenang naging
Pulseras ko na noong una pang
Pagdating ni Ursula
Sa madilim kong lungga.

Naku po!
Para tuloy akong
Si Litil Mermeyd na binibingwit
Ng mga puchang momo
Ng paulit-ulit
Ng paulit-ulit
Ng paulit-ulit
Mula sa aking hawlang
Isang berdeng papel
Bawat bingwit dito po
Sa Disneyland Bar.

The above poem was inspired by the book of Mr. Armando Ang entitled: "Child Abuse: A Growing Menace." (The book is available at Central Books Glorietta 3 2nd Floor Inside Goodwill Bookstore at 500 pesos only). The author discusses child abuse by subdividing it into 14 parts such as: 1. Child Abuse at Home; 2. Child Labor; 3. Child Prostitution; 4. Child Sacrifice; 5. Child Slavery; 6. Child Soldier; 7. Drug, Tobacco, and Alcohol; 8. Child Education; 9. Juvenile Justice System; 10. Pedophilia and Homosexuality; 11. Clergy Sex Abuse; 12. Child Pornography; 13. Street Children; and (I hope I am not boring you ok?) 14. Entertainment Industry. From these 14 topics, the one that strucked me the most is the topic regarding Child Prostitution specifically child trafficking. I want to quote this paragraph from Ang's book:

"Child Trafficking for sexual exploitation is considered the worst form of child labor anywhere in the world. In fact, it is one of the fastest growing business in the world, especially in the developing countries because these children are desperate, cheap, and readily available."

It's really shocking that children as young as 12 is for sale; or traffickers just offer the parents money and 'promises' of education for the girls or a new skill or good paying job. Once they are taken out of the homes, they are brought to faraway places and even out of the country and sold to pimps in brothels, bars, restaurants, massage parlors and other sex businesses. Once they are in the brothels, the adolescent girls are kept locked up until the first customer buys their virginity for approximately $500. Every sex from her first customer makes her price depreciate of about $2. There are also instances that the owner of the child will divirginize her first before selling it to pimps. Sounds cruel huh? But this is real shit; and we must be really aware that it is indeed happening.

What if the child refuses to a crook to become prostitutes? Well, learn the techniques. They will torture the child and keep in captivity for a time until she willingly become prostitutes. Now what are these tortures that I am talking about? These are beatings, threatening with throwing acid on her face, locking up chained in a room and starved until her resistance wanes; also are electric shocks, and other brutal tortures that could lead to death.

Tragic.

Now these tragic things inspired me of writing a poem to share the sad fate of those abused children neglected of their rights to have better lives to other bloggers and surfers of the world . I want you guys to be really aware about their situation and help them if you have a way of doing so. We must find a way to help those abused children specifically those of Asia like the Philippines because it is from these countries poverty is common and a good shit source of the most cheap and highly available stock of innocent lives.

By the way, according to Progress of Nation 1995 Report to the UNICEF, the Philippines is fourth in the source of child sex trafficking in the world.

2006-03-02T10:30:00.000+08:00

I have just received the sign of Ash Wednesday. It is a set of two crooked cross strokes of black dirt in my forehead that don't make me feel anything except if I would see myself in a mirror. "X what's that? Kulto?" (Whatever way I express it in words in front of the mirror, I still love it. I am weird though.)

I don't know what's with me that I really like to have the Ash sign. Maybe it's all because I never had any Ash Sign ever before OR maybe because I never go to church or believe in any religious things. Ya right. I never go to church EXCEPT in worse situations --- like burials, weddings, or store blessings. weeeeeeeeeeee! Yipeeeeeeeee! Ok, enough of that -- back to Ash sign. Ok. I got the sign after the mass here in Glorietta Mall (Of course, I must skip from work and leave Kuya Romy behind for a little while). Please don't think that I attended the said mass for God sake. I just went there for the purpose of having such sign.

Dust to dust. Ashes to ashes.

I love the concept. Why? Because I remember death. This is the thing that really fascinates me because I don't know what is death in the first place. All I know, we will all die. Yup but not exactly at the same
time. (Except of course if a huge asteroid bigger than the earth will kill as all). Hahahaha! Shit.

When it comes to my personal opinion, I find the Ash sign concept cool especially when I'll find myself walking amidst all those people who haven't got the sign as almost telling them that: "Hey! I got the sign folks! Sounds cool huh?"

By the way, Why are we from dust? Hmmm, it seems we need the sciences here. Alright. We are from dust because of the mere fact that we will be decomposed to several pieces when we die. Although our skeletons will remain, our flesh will not last and thus will join the soil or will be dust in general sense of the word. Well, the hell those sciences. What I would just surely believe is the fact that when I die I'll be dust because I would want myself to be cremated.

Now your laughing.

2006-02-28T11:30:00.000+08:00

I woke up at about 9 in the morning knowing that my work is at 11. I don't know what's with me that I really can't afford to wake up early. Maybe my body clock keeps on telling me to extend my sleep up to the point that the morning sun from my window is irritating my skin. My skin is indeed irritated but I would still ignore such feeling for I know I manage my own time that no one can ever tell me to be as early as a bird. No titas or lolas to shake me off from bed. No cousins and any folks to worry and be ashamed to sleep for more and be concluded as a lazy useless old jerk.

This is my good new life as a loner in my little rented room. I am alone alright and being alone is the fact that had already been engraved in my mind since the very first time I slept in the said room. It's a room with unequally distributed white paint (for some parts of its walls are not painted at all). The unpainted parts such as the surrounding distances of the windows looks dull but I am still trying to think that it looks beautiful (love your own room shit). About the window, I love the fact that it has missing 2 vertical glasses at its top most row for it welcomes brighter sunshine in my skin every morning thus serves as a signal for me to wake up but that's still depending on how long I could stand the irritating sunshine. Don't let me hear how your mind's gonna digest my attitude of being so late to wake up. Well, 9 am is not late after all. In fact, its totally early in its sense IF i will no longer do the laundry, iron my attire, fix my bed, take a bath, sweep the floor, and eat my breakfast. Whew! Now I would be like a jerk when I just hop up to the bus for work looking like a rotten vegetable that haven't been sold ever since it was harvested. Alright... 9 am is a bit late for waking up BUT I cannot say that I am really really (forget redundancy shit) late for waking at that hour. For days that I usually wake up at that point of time, I never even missed my 11 o'clock arrival-time at work. Besides, I usually reached Goodwill time card slot 30 minutes earlier (since the time itself at Goodwill is 15 minutes late from standard time). Advantage? It is. But not advantageous when timing out. So it simply means that we (all jologs employees except me ofcourse) usually crumpled in the same time card slot to wait for our alloted time outs knowing that the entire mall is now closed. Sounds silly but true.

One of my worries of being alone is the difficulty of practicing my tongue to speak louder as before or perhaps do a very loud laugh. That's why I do feel like my mouth is not thoroughly equipped of talking that I always feel so reserved most of my time when I am now dealing with REAL people such as my customers. I just observed that there are a lot of ideas in my mind but its just difficult to express in words. Or maybe, I don't want to share my thought to people that are not worth it. But who are those people that are worth hearing my thoughts? I even don't know who are they and what are they? Maybe it is just the fact that I am not really so expressive in nature. Or maybe, I hate dealing with people. I don't know. I really can't understand my situation. Really. And if I am going to assess how this point of situation is happening in my God damn life it would simply root up to one single fact: I am alone. And I am talking to myself once again.

2006-02-27T11:04:00.000+08:00

Sulfur Sulfur

I HAVE A VERY CURLY HAIR and combing it for a style would not be a better idea. It will just make it worse. That is a fact alright. That is why, you can't see me buying or even having a comb even just one time because it all simply mean one thing: I HATE COMBS! (shit).

Well, I believe that you are deducing that hating combs is very unnatural for such a highly civilized lad like me but what can I possibly do when I can't stand even looking at it? I would usually prefer it to be thrown out of the window, burn it to ashes or break it to pieces instead.

Poor combs.

Ok back to my hair. My hair is like a bunch of fly-away sprouting black thick wires that looks so dull and dry. I cannot doubt that any normal hair-conscious fellow would stand to see the general outlook of the poor scenery of my top. Worse than that, most of my hair viewers are my customers. Sometimes they would tend to be smiling when they meet me during my sales talk - listen to my verbal flowering words of our product - listen to my latest product offers - listen to how I explain to them why our prices usually gets higher - they get bored afterwards thus, made some lazy glances straight at my stupid hair and then look so lonely and pitiful when their eyes reached my eyes. Most of my customers are like that especially during times that I don't even have time to go to the barber shop to lessen my witch-inspired hair a bit.

Indeed my hair looks really bad when I left it uncut for a couple of months. It's length (for everyone's information) is not based by how you see it from meters away but by how you feel its volume or in other words, the length of my hair is based on the distance between my scalp and its crumpled curly hair on top (use a ruler please). I actually tried so many stuffs to make my hair look the way I want it to be. You know, the one you see in most shampoo commercials - the straight 'sunod sa galaw' hair that obeys the air. That's why I tried hair relaxing one time which actually make my hair straight at the start then crumpled and so stiff as like a stupid damaged hair of a ripe corn afterwards. Sounds funny but true. My mother usually kept on telling me to stop spending so much about my hair and just shave it all off instead. So, the story then proceed to a son following his ever loving mother to make himself bald as to like Bembol Roco. I felt so humiliated afterwards for my over-all look seem to make it worse. My butt-like forehead was emphasized for the first time. It (my forehead) was actually bulging and totally much more pitiful than having a witchy hair. But anyways, I still look clean and I don't need to stay in the mirror longer than before. As time moves on, my hair continuous to grow - until again it was the same old stupid kinky unorganized wired hair once again. Self-pity or not, in whatever way you assess my attitude about my hair, I can say that I am now happy with what I have unlike before that I could almost burn my hair off.

Hello guys! I now love my curly kinky Sulfuric hair!

It all started recently when I was conversing with my co-employee who is in fact also has a gift of a witchy-hair. But not really as witchy as mine (because mine is worse).

x: "Ate Teri, may alam ka ba sa mga sciences ng hair?"

This is a part of our daily routine of conversing (when we are idle at work) about anything under the Glorietta luminous light. We started talking about Ginataang Tulingan, then about increases in the prices of common goods, the poor situation of our country, about the death of Johnny Midnight, 15 letters of the Korean alphabet, the annhyeung haseyo greeting of Koreans, down to the differences between lapulapu and mayamaya. I don't know how these topics connects with the hair -- anyways.

y: "Alam mo ba kong ano ang components ng mga hair natin X?"

I heard about the common shampoo commercials on television that talked most of the time about vitamins and stuff but Keratin sprout in my mind faster.

x: "Keratin, and some other minerals 'di ba?"

y: "Hindi masyado. Ang hair natin normally maraming mga minerals diyan, hindi lang keratin and since 'yung atin medyo kinky mas marami tayong tinatawag na Sulfur Sulfur. 'Yun 'yung nagpapa-increase ng volume at curliness ng hair natin. Alam mo ba kung ano pa ang purpose ng Sulfur Sulfur sa hair natin?"

---

(silence)

---

I really cannot digest what she said about the Sulfur Sulfur thing and what's its connection with the curly hair so I never hesitate to ask her jargon.

x: "What the hell is Sulfur Sulfur? An element, mineral? Why do we need to repeat two elements at the same time? That is redundancy if compared to grammar!"

y: "X --- Talk about chemistry! Dalawang Sulfur 'yun so 'SS' siya na mixture. For example: H20 equals water, CO2 Carbon Dioxide, and some others."

x: "E 'di dapat S2 na lang para mas maganda. Sige tell me more about Sulfur Sulfur."

y: "Ok, don't you know that Sulfur Sulfur helps in the development of your brain?"

----

(silence)

----

x: " Really? So it means... Most curly haired people are intellectually capacitated and in short intelligent."

y: "That's what my professor is telling me before. That's why during those times he kept on calling me Ms. Sulfur Sulfur (hahaha)."

x: "Ahay, matalino pala tayo mare!".

And the rest is history. Let me elaborate some more. Alright. I am born this way having such a gift of a so-called Sulfur Sulfur in my hair which helps for the further development of my brain. The brain is near the strands of my curly hair. The extremity of having such a sulfurific hair is in its curliness. Mine is proudly curled and witchy. Meaning, the more witchy it looks the more Sulfur Sulfur it has. And I never seen any really witchy hair-do such as mine. Thus, it all simply mean that my brain is in the nth power continually sulfurifically developing more like any unfortunate straight or nearly curly-haired folk under the sun.

I love my hair now.

Thanks for the SULFUR SULFUR.

2006-02-26T07:00:00.000+08:00

Caught in the Net

My boss saw me (or caught me whatever is applicable) surfing the net one time while at work and I do really felt so terrified about the situation. I think I deserve to undergo disciplinary action by what I've done. I am paid for my time so that means, I am expected to do my duty for the benefit of the company and not just for my personal concern. That time, I am furnishing my blog and do downloading of my personal pictures from yahoo mail to finish my project of having my very own blog page when suddenly a dressed man (which is my boss) is glancing my monitor which I presume took him a thorough glance of what I was actually doing. I don't really know what's with me that I never even notice him. What a great shock it was when I saw his head slowly moving to the monitor! I was shocked!

x: "SIR! (in a trying to be happy tone as to be as calm as possible) KAMUSTA! (shit, now I really feel so stupid) Napadalaw kayo sir? (now I'm beginning to close all windows of yahoo mail, friendster, and my blog page without even logging out).

y: "Sino kasama mo ngayon?" (He glance at the surroundings that he noticed to be out of any sales person in sight)

x: "a.e e Si Teri sir nag-CR. Si Sir Romy--- day-off. " (Shit. I really felt my veins are attacking my voice.)

y: "Ok."

That's it.

There's silence in the midst of a store. It's just between me and my boss. Honestly, I expect that he would open up a conversation regarding how he saw me busy in the computer without even noticing that he is around. I waited for him to open a confrontation. At last, he spoke.

y: "Malakas benta sa kabila no?"

(whew! what is the assumption of his statement? He don't know what is the internet? Thank God! wait... He might me pretending to be ignorant of what he saw earlier. Shit.)

x: "OO nga sir eh. Actually malakas talaga sales nila sa mga santo. Like that one (pointing a statue on sale). That Jesus hanging costs P58,000 pesos.

y: "Talaga ha? (sitting at my side)"

Again there's silence. My mind again is slowly getting to be covered with guilt and shame of what had happened.

-----

-----

-----

Great X.

-----

Now. You need to start a conversation.

It's the only way for him to forget.

-----

well?

-----

Hello?

How?

---

---

---

The sales! That's it!

So I opened the sales report chart file from the desktop that I made and showed it to my boss on which his eyes are ready to glance. I appeared to be smiling like an innocent child who can't do anything bad.

x: "Here is our sales sir".

click

click

click

y: "I see that it's quite low talaga. Well I've seen already the reports in the office."

(He continually glance the graph which is in fact not that impressive to look due to the rapid rise and fall movement of the lines and the slow increases at the very end)

x: "Oo nga sir eh. Well, the sales are increasing in times that there are deliveries to lawyers and their law offices. 'Yun siguro 'yung reason."

------

FINISHED.

-------
That's the last word I've said to my boss because I think that he don't feel to talk for more about the business. Besides, his visit was actually out of work since he was with his wife and daughter for malling. Can I ever forget the situation and/or assess that he will report my behavior to our personnel for immediate disciplinary action? Or he (my boss) will forget what happened and proceed with his strolling with his family in Glorietta?

Ok. It would really be depending if how he see the situation.

Possible Situation Views of My Boss

View #1: "Hmmmm... HULI KA! I will try to report him to the personnel. Nasa trabaho tapos nag-internet! I'll tell tina and she will be the one to give him a warning. It is prudent that I never confronted X with what I saw. Imagine, I already toured around the store for so long then he never even noticed that I am around? This is not a proper way a sales person should be!"

View #2: "Hmmm...What's with X? Bakit busy ata siya masyado sa computer niya. Matingnan nga. (He went at the back of X) Yahoo, Friendster, and what's the other one (Blog)?. Ok. Tatahimik lang ako. Aba, hindi pa rin nakapansin? Teka, makalapit nga sa tabi niya... Hello? [X noticed him] Salamat naman at napansin niya ako. Aba, very confident pa rin magsalita a. I think he is just so tired of work that he tried to find something to do. Well, may allotted extra hours naman ang employees to rest eh so pagbibigyan ko na. I will talk to him something that is out of what I saw. Ano kaya? Ah eto... Tungkol sa katabing tenant 'Yan para hindi naman maging close kami."

View #3: "Ang galing talaga ni X sa computer. Pero parang hindi ko maintindihan ang ginagawa niya. Matingnan nga. Wow! Proud talaga ako sa empleyadong 'to. Masyadong concentrated sa technological capability ng store kaya niya pinag-aaralan ng masyado. Kaya pala hindi niya ako mapansin eh. Makalapit nga. Hello? [x noticed him] Wow! kahit sa pagsasalita parang energetic pa rin. I'm proud of this boy. Papagawan ko siya ng powerpoint if I need one in the future.

Am I doomed?

I hope not.

2006-02-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

From Ube and Mamon to VAT

Early this morning, I bought 2 pieces of ube roll and mamon. The ube roll costs 6 box each while the mamon 2 box. So I already spent almost 16 box to greet my ever beautiful morning. Ofcourse, I am quite disturbed about its total price since I am thinking more about the usual 1-peso bread in the market some few years back. God! I should have got 16 breads!

x: "Bullshit! Give me back my money! I deserved to get 12 breads!"

y: "What are you talking about sir?"

x: "I said I should have got 16 breads! Can you understand? Now give me back my money!"

y: "Why are you acting that way sir? We're just a bakeshop and our prices are competitive among other
bakeries..."

x: "Hey lady! Can't you see that your prices are really high? I bought this mamon at 1 peso 10 years ago! Don't you ever try to fool me because I am not a fool asshole!"

y: "That was 10 years ago sir!

(silence)

----------

(another silence)

----------

y: " Ok here's your stupid 16 pesos! Just get outahere and try to buy that mamon or any stupid bread you want on...

---------

ahhh

--------

last

--------

1996! TURN BACK TIME YOU IDIOT!"

x: "Thanks! (leaving) Shit!"

--------

(the lady followed him)

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x: "HEY! Why the hell are you following me?"

y: "YOU MUST GIVE ALL YOUR -------I mean GIVE ALL OUR HELL BREAD BACK SIR(pent)!"

I'm getting to be overstating there. What would I ever expect of the future of all the prices of common goods such as bread here in the Philippines? EVERYTHING is increasing! The price of flour is rising like smoke in the air (exaggeration though but somehow true in its sense). I smell the same smoke many times in any other commodities like meat, pork, chicken, fruits, vegetables, tomatoes, carrots, potatoes, onions, garlic, blah blah blah and another blah. Even my personal goods are smokingly hotter--- my Panoxyl anti-acne ointment raised from 141 to a blazing price of 151 box in just 1 week! Ofcourse, I have no other choice but to accept such situation of giving extra 10 pesos. Why the hell there is such increases! VAT! VAT! VAT! Hahahahahaha! But even VAT itself is increasing from the good old 10% to a gigantic leap of 15%!

---------

(sigh)

The reality of the world.

2006-02-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

EDSA EDSAHAN

I really don't know how to say this because I might come out being so bias sharing my personal opinion about the EDSA Revolution. I can imagine myself being accused by pro-GMA or anyone as a know-it-all lad that burst out opinions knowing that I don't even watch news on TV or even just read newspapers. Well, the fact of the matter is--- in accordance with my ability to understand the situation- to weigh everything in its thinnest sense--- I don't watch television. I don't even read newspapers or know who are behind the President or what are its branches and sources or people to move. Sounds funny though but without any biases whatsoever I will say that this is what most Filipinos are. They tend to conclude the nature of a leader for instance without even researching behind the person itself OR maybe they just rely on the word-of-mouths from their neighbors or friends. That's why I am sure I know how there are a lot of people rallying in streets bombing voices to fuel the former people power revolt last 1986. PEOPLE POWER they shout (now the word itself is getting so stale and stinky).

They would shout:

x: "Boss ano ba nangyayari dito?"

y: "Wow! Welga na naman! Yahoo!"

x: "Ano ba winewelga natin?"

y: "Si Gloria patatalsikin raw"

x: "A talaga? paano?

y: "Basta sumunod ka lang... tara!"

x: "Teka... E sino papalit sa kanya, si Noli?"

y: "Bahala na SILA. PEOPLE POWER to tol!"

that's how far my story goes when talking to these unfortunate souls in a rally. They tend to shout resign and then they don't even know what's next. It is "people power" alright (in small caps that is) but abused and not used properly. They are BAKYA people that strategize in a very informal way. What's next for them? Perhaps they would end up crashing a parked car in the streets to burn. Throw solid matters like stones, urine filled plastic bags, human waste, garbage, and any other stuffs to police (On which they do in a laughing manner). Maybe they would tend to go to EDSA Shrine to attend a rally with the common "trapos" or show-off politicians with their hidden agendas OR let me say this ---- to fill up their bellies for free goodies. Alright, I am being so bias here ok but I really can't stop to think that way especially when I am thinking about the EDSA Revolution. By the way, I am not talking about the 1986 Revolution here but the entire thought of the EDSA Revolution itself, may it be decades ago or recently (ah... If in these times that I am typing this write-up they would call the rally in EDSA another EDSA Revolution).